Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Spanky wants your Xmas cash

The Lordly Presiding Evangelist speaketh:

...I would like to ask all of you [LCG ministers] to announce to the brethren that... the income for the Work has fallen off precipitously in the last few days! We don’t know if this is a continuing trend, but it is possible since the genuine financial crisis is affecting so many people. We do ask, however, that—according to each one’s ability—all of our brethren try to respond to this need. In a period like this, God’s Work must go on! We must keep on growing and having an impact on the world to prepare for the end of this age, as the warning message we have been preaching has been surely coming to pass as never before.

So I ask all of you to urge the brethren to give as generously as they are able, and ask everyone to pray fervently with me and all of us here at Headquarters that God will truly bless and deliver the Work at this time. I will be praying that God will help you, bless you and inspire you as you continue in His service and guide the brethren to do likewise. Thank you, dear brethren, from the heart.

Can't be long before Rod calls another fast. Dig deep dear brethren!

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

"So I ask all of you to urge the brethren.."

In other words, muscle the sheep for Mo' Money.



Paul Ray

Anonymous said...

It would be so much easier for people to believe and support the various different COG splinter leaders if they did not all just do senseless evil in return.

Meredith's $wiss Banker said...

"I will be praying that God will help you,(give)"

Money scarce ? then,

Shut-up and sell your mansion you frigging millionaire fraud !

Batman and Robbing said...

Well since we know that LCG doesn't have a belfry, we know the problem can't be bats.

Randolf the Rudenose Deighrear said...

It can now be revealed. We have most LCG members on our Christmas list this year. The feeling that enjoying the season has taken hold among thousands and thousands of LCG and COG members.

Sadly and of course, this tends to come from Tithes and Offerings.

Some articles of possibly related interest may include:

"Your Christmas Funds are right there in your offering envelope."

"Tithes Schmithes...I wanna Wassel"

"Santa Wants You to Prosper."

"Sure It's Pagan, but So Are the Holy Days."

"Halloween...God's Holy Day or Just Goofy. Witch?"

"Just What Do You Mean...The Sun of Righteousness Shall Arise With Healing in His Wings?"

"Does Jesus Have Wings?"

"Christmas...Just Wing It"

"Send It In! But Not to Dave"


Merry Mithras and to all a good night!

Libro 66 said...

Panic time! The income's been down since... um... Tuesday of last week! In fact, possibly since Monday! That means people stopped mailing us money... around Friday the week before! This is terrible! If this keeps up, we won't get hardly anything until the New Year!

Wow, the economy must be really bad! Why, if our predictions keep coming true, our evangelists may have to resort to McDonalds! Or, worse yet, stop eating out altogether! I've never mentioned this before, brethren, but a large number of new converts are drawn to us by personal evangelism, and there's nothing more personable than a well-fed evangelist! One who can afford to tip heavily!

So give as generously as you are able! Remember what our latest co-worker letter reminded you of: as long as your donation is postmarked on or before December 31, you can write it off on your 2008 taxes! The more you give, the more you get back!

Libro

(PS -- As some have surmised, we are already preparing for our traditional summertime fast. Please, brethren, consider figuring the amount of money you will save by not eating that day, and send it in now!)

Anonymous said...

It's obvious RCM wants to close LCG's annual balance sheet with a positive financial surge by begging for more money. It would be magnanimous of him, the other LCG evangelists, ministers and Charlotte HQ employees to announce they are willingly taking a 10 percent pay cut, downsizing their mansions and selling their luxury liners as a gesture that they empathize with lay members struggling to make ends meet during this awful economic downturn. The honchos also should announce they are cutting their global sightseeing jaunts and stop staying at lavish hotels to cut expenses. You can be sure Bob Thiel will not announce this precipitous drop in LCG's income on his website. By the way, maybe LCG could cut him from its payroll, too!

Leonardo said...

Bottom line: this approach HAS always worked, and WILL always be effective with gullible COG members.

The pattern was clearly established by HWA. Recall his endless barrage of co-worker letters from the early 1930's onward - constantly detailing to his supporters dire threats to "the Work," warning how Satan is about to "destroy the Work," etc.

But "the Work" kept on prospering for decade after decade, well into the Tkach era. Either God kept it going, or the various and sundry "financial threats" were greatly overestimated and exaggerated for effect, which never failed because folks ALWAYS ended up forking over the cash...until the next monumental "crisis" was announced.

It's my impression that guys like Rod Meredith feel extremely threatened and get very upset when their little fantasy worlds face even the remotest possiblility of running out of funding.

But not to worry, Rod (or Gerry, or Dave, or Ron) - there will ALWAYS be an endless supply of folks who crave after your kind of religious delusions, and who will eagerly keep them going indefinitely. The record of religious history documents that observation quite clearly, and the past 75 years of COG history makes it iron-clad.

Leonardo said...

Hey Libro 66, you mentioned above about evangelists tipping heavily - were you referring to their waiter/waitresses or the weight scales?

Mr. Scribe said...

Where is the Christmas tree where I can pin a couple of twenties next to the plastic Jesus?

Where is the article declaring Jesus is the reason for us not keeping the season? Herbert used another approach when funds dried up in December. It always worked by fueling guilt. Is Spanky getting soft or has his altimizers progressed further than feared?

If God's people would follow FOLLOWING CHRIST'S ADMONITION the church would not have the financial problems it now faces!

As far as Bobby Thiel goes, he has last years article and the years before to re-print and re-hash until our eyes bleed red!

By the way, did Bob mention "The LCG don't do crosses?"

Anonymous said...

Is the Worldwide Credit crunch going to be for whom the bell tolls ????

The Payed ministry seem to be already very jittery.

Are they afraid their wages and little extras like travel allowance ect might be at risk.

Corky said...

In my old days in the WCG I noticed the well-to-do had no problem with the tithes and offerings.

It was the poor working class who struggled to even make ends meet - even if they hadn't paid tithes, they still would have struggled.

Some were so poor that they should have been receiving third tithe instead of trying to pay it.

So, want to guess who's left in the tithe exacting CoGs and which ex-members never gripe about their experience?

There are still some who come here and say stuff about how good it was "back in the day" etc. Well, it's because they were the "well-to-do" snobs in the CoGs.

That's who's left in LCG and the other splinters - the well-to-do snobs and the rich know-it-alls.

There may be a few (very few) poor and they are so poor that they are charity case who don't even have to worry about tithes but merely hang on because of receiving a 3rd tithe check.

The poor working class who supported the WCG for so long were forced to bail out a long time ago.

Libro 66 said...

Hi Leo,

All three -- you forgot bottles!

Remember, our evangelists save the church money by buying their Dom Perignon at Sam's Club!

:*)

Libro

(In all fairness, I don't think Rod has a boat, and his house is only worth a few hundred thou. But the hotel rooms do get pretty nice...)

Anonymous said...

And do I hear violins in the background?

Nothing has changed.

Yes,we heard this plea for cash back in the good 'ole days when Herb reigned supreme,and Rodders continueth the practice every year.I daresay the blinded faithful will dig deep and cough up to keep Rod and his honchos in a job.

On our NewstalkZB network here in NZ this morning,we heard crowds will be filling the German churches,Catholic and Lutheran,for Midnight Mass.Thomas Volk??,a politician, was recommending that those who paid their CHURCH TAX be given priority for seating,or the best seating,depending on the church.

Church Tax would be a much cheaper option than Rod's monetary expectations.He is asking a bit much though.He received all those generous tithes and offerings at the Feast.What has he done with this?

Jorgheinz

Anonymous said...

Dean Wilson (Worldwide Canada) in good old Herbal days said that one should expect tithe payments to fluctuate from year to year.

Rod apparently never heard that sermon.

Any company or organisation worthy of its salt knows its down periods for income and will budget accordingly.Not old Rod.He knows income will be reduced during Nov/Dec but apparently does not work that into his budget.

Here's a few ideas Rod.

1.Have a less sumptuous Feast and put those savings towards this season.

2.Downgrade your house and give the difference to the Work.

3.Downgrade the work and personal automobiles...give the difference to the Work.

4.Cancel TV and use radio and US POST.

5.Sell any church property and use cheaper rented office space.

6.Reduce your own over-inflated salary.

At this season when Rod is begging for more money, the Salvation Army is urging people to keep spending to the absolute minimum.Never would Rod do that.

Perhaps he and Gerry Flurry should join forces and reduce the costs.

Jorgheinz

Anonymous said...

Has Rod never heard of a Christmas Club for dealing with expenses at this time of the year?

Perhaps some of his minions should wise him up.


A non-e mouse.

Anonymous said...

In one of his cow-orker or member letters, probably early 60s, HWA said he would set an example of giving by putting in $100 that he and Loma had been saving "for a rainy day".

And a tip to anyone who leaves the LCG to join Packmeister --- in a recently highlighted booklet using a recycled title, Dave explains that if you send all your tithes to another splinter, you still owe the RCG, because you've paid the wrong person...

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

And a tip to anyone who leaves the LCG to join Packmeister --- in a recently highlighted booklet using a recycled title, Dave explains that if you send all your tithes to another splinter, you still owe the RCG, because you've paid the wrong person...



Anonymous,

David Pack is a very aggressive person. This has its good points, as well as its bad points.

On the positive side, David gets a lot of writing done, and has great plans for the future.

On the negative side, David will want virtually ALL your wealth--not just the three regular tithes and offerings. If you follow him you should get ready to sell your house and send in the money. If you fall upon hard times and are looking for sympathy, you can always find sympathy in the dictionary. The third tithe funds that everyone must be so careful to send in get used for other purposes.

David will always be in control of the RCOG, and he will always do as he pleases. In stark contrast, the little members will always have to do whatever they are told to do, or get shouted at and kicked out of David's RCOG.

As with all such demanding types, his followers will find that after they have given so much for so long, the demands can change and increase unexpectedly at any time. All the risk is always carried by the little members, never by the leader.

For what it is worth, David does seem to teach some truth. For example, he seems to be right about the other splinter leaders being "evil men and seducers." The more I learn the more I see that he is correct on that point.

Anonymous said...

Anon 7:47 -

That was my general impression as well. I think Dave's most ardent demand for money was in a sermon extolling Herb's classic work that included the analogy to the putrid waste in Loma's bowels. "I wish I could write like that!" was one of Dave's praises.

And I agree that he has made a few points that I personally considered poignant and helpful.

Anonymous said...

"David does seem to teach some truth. For example, he seems to be right about the other splinter leaders being "evil men and seducers." The more I learn the more I see that he is correct on that point."

I wonder if you realize that your description of Dave prior to this point was that of a seducer, and then you let him off the hook?

Dave Pack is an aggressive narcissist who will use you up and spit you out. His hug carries a knife.

camfinch said...

"For what it is worth, David does seem to teach some truth. For example, he seems to be right about the other splinter leaders being "evil men and seducers." The more I learn the more I see that he is correct on that point."

Yes, he is correct, and the reason he knows this is because "it takes one to know one".

As I have remarked more than once on this site over a few years, having known Dave's parents, I cannot conceive how a megalomanical tyrant such as him could have been produced by two such fine people.

Anonymous said...

Did or did not Meredith proclaim that they were doing the most powerful work of God? If so, why is God having such a difficult time supporting His alleged work? Now is the time to force this ministry out of its retirement and go out and get a real job instead of being a parasite to the working class that support them so graciously. If you want to back the work of God then do exactly what Christ said in (Matthew 25:35-40) For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Now is the time to start taking care of one another instead of the only the ministry. Let the ministry be the first to set the example of true sacrifice instead of the congregations. Perhaps it is time for this ministry to practice what it preaches to the congregations in it’s time of need and help them for a change instead of feed continuously off the sheep.

If God is truly working with this organization then the work will go on but let this be a WARNING unto the ministry:

(Ezekiel 34:1) And the word of the LORD came unto me, saying,

(Ezekiel 34:2) Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD unto the shepherds; Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves! should not the shepherds feed the flocks?

(Ezekiel 34:3) Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you with the wool, ye kill them that are fed: but ye feed not the flock.

(Ezekiel 34:4) The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them.

Anonymous said...

"Dean Wilson (Worldwide Canada) in good old Herbal days said that one should expect tithe payments to fluctuate from year to year."

You forgot the part where Bean-o Dean-o then went on to outline his efficient bullet-point plan to the sheriffs on how they could "encourage" more consistent giving from the sheeple, Jorg.

I believe there may have also been significant promotion of the "financial management" booklet by the sheriffs at this time, as a result of Bean-o's rallying cry.

("Just What do you Mean....1000 Recipes for Hebrew National Wieners and Kraft Dinner...?")

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good holiday!!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

I wonder if you realize that your description of Dave prior to this point was that of a seducer, and then you let him off the hook?

Dave Pack is an aggressive narcissist who will use you up and spit you out. His hug carries a knife.



Anonymous,

In David Pack's latest posted "No Hope" sermon, David got angry and started shouting that, "If people don't tithe, they're gone!" Apparently, it is very important that people send in all the tithes. They are being watched. Apparently, it is not important how David decides to use directed funds such as third tithe. He does not want anyone to watch him and his own conduct.

From time to time, as David dreams of building impressive buildings that he will personally control, he might also shout at people to send in their house too.

David claims to have done more writing than HWA, and David's booklets are larger than the ones the WCG had under HWA. In the recent "No Hope" sermon, David complained that people have become "Googled" and can no longer read long books. At the same time, paradoxically, David does not want to send out his literature, since it costs so much to do that. David basically said that he has no use for former WCG people who request his literature, referring to them as just "collectors" who probably would not read it anyway.

New people will be sent a little bit of free literature, with the usual brief statement about how happy the RCOG is to serve them. However, if the new people do not quickly start sending money, they soon find out that the RCOG really is not interested in serving them any more free literature. David seems to be incapable of keeping up his friendly act for very long.

David Pack should just admit that his greed is such that he has departed from HWA's example in the WCG of making literature freely available to those who are interested. David should simply put prices on his literature, instead of ranting and raving that people are "stealing" his church's literature and sermons.

David does have the occasional interesting thing to say. He did learn some things from HWA and the WCG. Tragically, though, this does not always make people good. In too many cases it just makes them dangerous.

Like others, I cannot help wondering how long his latest marriage will last.

Anonymous said...

"... climate change ... is up in the air." - Dave Pack

Thanks Anon 5:43, No Hope was a corker, full of Dave's quirky, dry wit.

Yes, there were a few nuggets that prompted introspection.

As for Dave's, I hope he doesn't follow the course of his deceased mentor. Of course, the age gap is considerably smaller.

Anonymous said...

David should simply put prices on his literature, instead of ranting and raving that people are "stealing" his church's literature and sermons.


So much for, "Freely you have received, freely give." David Pack should not have been pretending to follow HWA and give away free booklets and free broadcasts if he is now just going to fly into satanic fits about it all.

This reminds me of a couple books I have seen by different authors who both despised the supposedly "free" gifts that some people come offering. They did not trust such people, and knew that they would always want something in return, usually much, much more than the supposedly "free" gifts were worth.

Ramona Ramona Dona said...

"Like others, I cannot help wondering how long his latest marriage will last."

A failed marriage would fit right in with Dave's belief system. He would simply note how the very same thing happened to HWA and it was all for the good. It would prove to Dave he was right on track.

Anonymous said...

Why are you all so worried about what goes on in LCG. It is none of your concern.

Corky said...

Anonymous said...
Why are you all so worried about what goes on in LCG. It is none of your concern.

Tough! We're making it our concern

Libro 66 said...

Anon: -- Why are you all so worried about what goes on in LCG. It is none of your concern. --

As a member of LCG, it is most definitely my concern.

Libro

(Do you think Dave will use the same excuse to get rid of the Second Missus? "She stole my silverware! ...er, I mean the Church's goldware... whatever...")