Wednesday, 10 October 2007
Travail of the Rodomites
An email from a kindred observer of the COG scene arrived today, drawing attention to this little gem of exhortation to the dumb sheep from LCG's Dougie Winnail.
Guidelines for the Feast of Tabernacles (CONDENSED from the September 6 issue of The World Ahead)
To Be Read in All Churches
Beach Parties—Appropriate Swimwear Guidelines
The Living Youth Camp swimwear policy has been adopted for LCG Festival sites. Appropriate attire for women is a modest one-piece suit; men should wear boxer style trunks. Two-piece outfits for women and “Speed-o” type bathing suits for men are not acceptable.
1. All music must be chosen carefully with the approval of the Festival Coordinator or an individual he specifically assigns this task.
2. No “free-style” dancing is permitted.
3. Fellows should politely ask a young lady or woman to dance, i.e.: “May I have this next dance?” If the lady accepts, he should offer his arm to lead her out to the dance floor. When the dance is over, he should lead her back to her table or chair.
4. We discourage “pairing off” of teens at our Church-sponsored dances and encourage dancing with many partners, particularly noting who sat out the last dance. Older singles and engaged couples who are of age may be exempt from this rule.
5. Music should not be so loud that those who prefer not to dance have a difficult time carrying on a conversation.
6. Lighting should not be turned down so low that the average person could not read a book with ease.
7. At any dance organized primarily for youth, all parents are welcome to visit.
8. Appropriate dress for a Church dance in the northern hemisphere is slacks, coat and tie for adult and young men and modest knee-length dress or long gown for adult and young women.
9. A minister should be present for the entire function.
10. Small children should be supervised and not allowed to run or engage in horseplay. These rules and traditions should apply for all our ballroom dances, because they are based upon godly principles of love toward others. Some of these rules obviously do not pertain to square dances, barn dances and dances in other cultures.
I guess it's a mercy to know that Rod and Dougie will be refraining from wearing speedos at the poolside, but beyond that, as the correspondent states: "Sounds almost solidly like the old rules from back in the '60s and '70s. And please note the most important one: A minister must be present for the entire function. Whatever else might have changed within loyalist Armstrongism over the years, one thing that hasn't is that lay people cannot be trusted. Aren't you glad you're out of that crap?"