Wednesday, 24 December 2008

Nephilim Flush but Snoopy Rocks!

No Madonnas, angels, blokes wearing towels on their heads, or tinsel... but it's gotta be my favorite Xmas carol.



Of course, if you're holed up somewhere trying to ignore the heathen festivities, you could spend the day drinking deeply from the profound well of godly wisdom... I refer to the latest issue of Prophecy Flush... no, hang on, maybe that's Flash. Whatever. There are eighty eight pages of classic Dankenbring to wallow in while the wicked world does unspeakable things with wrapping paper and turkey. Will Obama be King of the World? How about those Seventy Weeks in Daniel? Who could resist an article will the most original title: The Book of Revelation Uncloaked At Last! While you're uncloaking you also get a chance to check Flash Willie's briefs... (ah, perhaps I should rephrase that, I mean his prophecy briefs.) Weinlanders may be riveted by an article on the Trib, lunatics have their own interests catered for with another on the New Moons, and how could you pass up on those incredible letters to the editor.

But wait, there's more! William wants to send you his free book on the amazing Nephilim. It's called "Angels, Women, Sex, Giants, UFOs, Alien Abductions and the Occult: What On Earth Is Going On?"

That title about nails everything except rock 'n roll!

Let me think: Snoopy or Flash Willie? Tough choice, but I think I'll just go with the beagle.

23 comments:

Tkach's $wiss Banker said...

What a bumper issue; you have to scan thru a lot of number crunching but at the end of Willie's long articles is the pot of gold *DATE*, the bottom line: The Gt Trib starts 2012 and Jesus' Second Coming is 2019--That would be a neat trick considering there was NO FIRST COMING for this fictive character !

Anonymous said...

Gavin,

There are other alternatives. THINK!

You can ignore all of William Dankenbring's Prophecy Trash. It is a waste of precious time.

You can also ignore all of Ronald Weinland's wrong guesses. Even though he sets his dates too soon, you will still waste too much time waiting for nothing to happen.

Now, pay attention! You can ALSO ignore Snoopy the Mutt and the Great Pumpkin. That, too, is nonsense. When it comes to religion, the producer of dogface and Linus is just as wrong and nutty as William and Ronald.

Mel said...

I'll go with Snoopy, too- and I even backed it up with a couple of "Snoopy holding Woodstock" plush dolls to some nieces, as early Xmas gifts.

Anonymous said...

For a rival to FLASH see:

http://www.nwchurch-of-god.org.uk/docs/2-%20Gods%20End%20-Time%20Church%20in%20Jerusalem.pdf

We're all doomed!

Dennis said...

For mostly worse, those men who use the difficult times to come as Biblically predicted and end time proofs will prosper. Fear sells guns and religion. The promise, and the Bible does promise a lot of things to the faithful that history has shown to be less than universally true, of safety and personal deliverance is very conforting right up until it isn't.

My latter life skepticism is the flip side of my early life naivete'
The men who preach end time deliverance if you are in the right group are terrified of the things that may come. Aren't we all. To me, they don't really want the end to come, they want the end to almost come. There is no money, nice homes, prestige, power and control in the end actually coming. Only in "almost the end" is there religion and specialness.

I think 2009 will be very very difficult for humans on the planet. Maybe someday we'll find out that earth was the assigned insane assylum for the galaxy..ha. argh.... We just didn't know it, but long suspected it.

Perhaps there is a kinder, gentler civilization out there somewhere. And I don't mean one that rules with a rod of iron. We don't need anymore of that.

Anonymous said...

"There are eighty eight pages of classic Dankenbring to wallow in while the wicked world does unspeakable things with wrapping paper and turkey."

LOL! I knew I wasn't wrong for taking a few minutes to check in with the ex-CoG internet. Thanks for the chuckle, it got my Christmas Eve kicked off right.

Merry Christmas/Seasons Greetings/Happy Holidays, Gavin, and here are best wishes that your holiday is filled to overflowing with friends and family and light.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said :
“Now, pay attention! You can ALSO ignore Snoopy the Mutt and the Great Pumpkin. That, too, is nonsense. When it comes to religion, the producer of dogface and Linus is just as wrong and nutty as William and Ronald.”

I say to you:
Ignore Willy D, Ronny W and all the other “mouth offs “ who have come from the wasteland of gloom and doom……but when you start messing and “ mouthing off “ yourself about Snoopy and the gang….. that’s another ‘kettle of fish’

Don’t you know Snoopy and Lucy are the gurus of all wisdom ?

Snoopy: My life has no purpose. My life has no direction, no aim, no meaning.
And yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out! What am I doing right?

Snoopy : (on being house-trained with a rolled-up newspaper) :
It does tend however to give one a rather distorted view of the press!


Lucy: Each generation must be able to blame the previous generation for its problems.
It doesn't solve anything, but it makes us all feel better.


Lucy: We critical people are always being criticized!


Anoneemoose

HALFORD'$ High $t. Banker said...

Even the Great Perbert said he "never set dates"(he was hoping you didn't have his "1975 IN PROPHECY" on hand) and you will find no dates in the sleep-inducing CHRISTIAN ODYSSEY nor will Billy Graham drop a date, but in the wild world of WCG splinters dates for Jesus' return are dropped on a monthly basis.

Mr. Scribe said...

Forget William Dankenbring's trash, Ronald Weinland's mad bash! Banish the thought in a FLASH!

Former sheep
Down in Sheep-ville
Liked Christmas a lot,
But the Apostle,
Who was six-feet under,
Did NOT!

Anonymous said...

"Angels, Women, Sex, Giants, UFOs, Alien Abductions and the Occult: What On Earth Is Going On?"

That title about nails everything except rock 'n roll!

How about "Angels, Women, Sex, Giants, UFOs, Alien Abductions, the Occult, Rock n Roll and the Kitchen Sink--What On Earth is Wrong With Me?"

:)

Anonymous said...

"Maybe someday we'll find out that earth was the assigned insane assylum for the galaxy..ha. argh.... We just didn't know it, but long suspected it."

Ever read Clans of the Alphane Moon, Dennis?

Anonymous said...

Paul Ray,

Did you see the following news headline:

Santa-suit gunman kills 3 at party

It looks like those SICK, PSYCHOTIC Santa-gods that some people believe in are going out of control.

Baywolfe said...

So, Obama now equals Hitler. Why don't they just write an article titled, "OH MY LAWD! A Darkie Done Became PRES-I-DENT"?

When our economy puts most of these splinter groups on the edge of financial ruin (although, not their pastor generals, of course) I guess that's when they'll announce the "Famine of the Word."

Anonymous said...

"Did you see the following news headline:

Santa-suit gunman kills 3 at party

It looks like those SICK, PSYCHOTIC Santa-gods that some people believe in are going out of control."


You mean like this?

Mike said...

Willie does not do his homework either in researching articles but speeds along old propaganda such as the so called Deir Yassin massacre, which was no massacre at all.
Front Page Magazine did a very good article exposing the propaganda involved but Willie would rather titalate than tell the truth.
Read it if you wish.

http://www.frontpagemag.com/articles/Read.aspx?GUID=AE10793F-4EFD-458B-B132-08E13DDF59DD

DIG DEEPER BRETHREN said...

Side note:

Pack goes balistic.... PAY YOUR TITIHES OR YOU ARE OUT!!!!

Anonymous said...

Purple Hymnal,

Latest News Update:

Santa-suit gunman leaves 9 dead

It looks like those sick, psychotic Santa-gods are killing even more people than Terry did.

Anonymous said...

NO, Gavin, you were right the first time...it is "Prophecy Flush".

You could then call it "watered-down" prophecy.

Jorgheinz

Mel said...

I've never heard the term "SICK, PSYCHOTIC Santa-gods", before this.

Not even, "Santa-gods"

Methinks some fantasy is afoot in an arse of a religious viewpoint.

Anonymous said...

Santa-suit gunman kills 3 at party

Santa-suit gunman leaves 9 dead

It looks like those sick, psychotic Santa-gods are killing even more people than Terry did.

Hmmm, Ratzmann gunned down EIGHT people. So, if "Santa-suit gunman" really did "leave 9 dead" as opposed to "kills 3 at party" (I also note your failure to link the relevant media articles in question that you are ostensibly quoting from here), if either story holds water:

In scenario 1, Ratzmann gunned down FIVE more people than Santa-suit gunman.

In scenario 2, Ratzmann gunned down only ONE more person than Santa-suit gunman.

Also, it isn't a contest and we aren't looking for winners. Whether it was a Santa-suited gunman, or a depressed church of god member who was too browbeaten by the ministry to see any other way out, the cost of human life was, is, and will continue to be tragic.

Anonymous said...

Ugh. I meant "Ratzmann only gunned down ONE LESS person" (than Santa-suit-gunman from scenario #2)

Anonymous said...

So who is doing unspeakable things with turkey?? Turkey is cheap this time of year!! Indulge your baser desire for stuffing and cranberry sauce!!(unless that is a no-no because it is red.)

Anonymous said...

and by the way - I love Dennis ... I wish he would get over the hurt he suffered in wcg and get back to the basics.