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Friday 21 March 2008

The World Tomorrow meets the Easter Bunny

After a less than memorable week suffering from what in less PC times was called “Delhi Belly”, I woke this morning to a sun-drenched late Summer's day hopeful of a quiet “Good Friday” to aid recovery.

The Good Spirit apparently took pity on me and decided to lend a hand. Overnight some idiot had wiped out a major power pole on the main road, and there's nothing quite as conducive to a quiet day as the complete absence of electricity.

What to do? I pottered around for a while before deciding that there was obviously time to go back to yesterday's unopened Dominion Post and tackle the daily crossword. That accomplished, I flicked through the front sections with their usual excellent coverage of things I'd rather not know about, when my eye fell on the annual Easter homily from the Wellington Council of Churches.

Like everyone else I normally ignore this sort of seasonal fluff, but this case was an exception. The intro to the column begins: “Dennis Gordon, for the Council of Wellington Churches, writes about the significance of Easter.”
There's a photograph of an Orthodox processional, with crucifix aloft, then the headline: “Easter Means Life.”

Down the bottom is a little info on the writer: “Dr Dennis Gordon is an evolutionary biologist and a member of the British-based Society of Ordained Scientists.”
Which is all true and very impressive. But Dennis' potted bio omits the interesting fact that his ordination is as an elder in the Worldwide Church of God.

In fact, I remember sitting through several of Dennis' sermonettes (mumble) years ago. Dennis was by reputation, and clearly still is, a decent, gifted and honest man, if not a riveting speaker, though I've never had the chance to chat with him in person. Just last year he featured in the WCG church magazine Odyssey.

I'll admit to a moment of disorientation anyway. After all, here's a survivor of the Armstrong years, including the vicious anti-liberal “cultural revolution” of 1979 onward, who:
  • Describes himself as an evolutionary biologist.
  • Is spokesperson for a prominent ecumenical organisation.
  • Delivers an Easter homily for the unwashed secular hordes, and
  • Belongs to a church tradition that long lambasted “all of the above.”


So, what does Dennis have to say? I regret that the Dominion Post (New Zealand's best daily paper, with only feeble competition from the awful Auckland Herald) usually doesn't place this sort of thing on their website, so a few notes may be helpful.
  • No Saints! It's “the first century apostle John” and “the apostle Paul,” which is my enduring preference too – very properly non-conformist.
  • A predictable lineup of apologists on parade: C.S. Lewis and John Polkinghorne.
  • An unconsciously apt (?) reference to Jekyll and Hyde.
  • And a concluding paragraph worth quoting:
“Easter celebrates new life and rebirth, and the beauty of it is that we can get a foretaste of that in the here and now as we experience a turning around and a new outlook on life. The ultimate outcome will be a transformed planet (literally heaven on earth) – something that the rest of the organic creation looks forward to, in a manner of speaking, with great anticipation.”


The World Tomorrow meets the Easter Bunny!

I wonder if Dennis, all those years ago, could have possibly imagined himself promoting an ecumenical “Son-rise service” in the nation's capital. And I wonder whether, next time he steps up on behalf of the Wellington churches, he might like to share the identity of the church of his choice.

Incredibly it's 3.30 and the power is still out. While the laptop still has some battery juice I'm going to shut down and throw digestive caution to the winds: off to find a flat white and a suitably gooey chocolate egg. Happy Easter!

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

What to do? I pottered around for a while before deciding that there was obviously time to go back to yesterday's unopened Dominion Post and tackle the daily crossword.

"Never start a crossword puzzle. If you have that much time to waste, take a nap."
--A.R.

Anonymous said...

Never buy a Sudoku book either... I learned the hard way!!

Thomas Munson

Tom Mahon said...

Gavin said:

>>>Overnight some idiot had wiped out a major power pole on the main road, and there's nothing quite as conducive to a quiet day as the complete absence of electricity.<<<

What a fragile civilisation man has built for himself, switch off the electricity and we are suddenly back in the dark ages! Now you know what it must be like in Baghdad - minus the bombs and carnage, of course!

As for Dennis Gordon, now labelling himself an "evolutionary biologist," the bible describes him as another dog returning to its own vomit. Anyone with such a disgusting habit, must be avoided like the plague.

Still, I am pleased to hear that you are recovering from "the runs," and was sufficiently able to compose a very funny and interesting post.

On a personal note, my two sons argue over the solutions to the Times daily crosswords. Also, my eldest son introduced me to Sudoku, and I have now graduated to completing the Grand Masters puzzles, but then you would have been surprised if I had opted for the easy puzzles! "Armstrongites" always strive for excellence, my detractors will be annoyed to learn!!

Still, Sudoku is a doddle compared to Draughts or Checkers, as it is called in the USA.

I hope your area of the civilised world soon returns to normal, and that NZ wins the final cricket test match, and shut up Geoff Boycott! His endless gloating is most annoying!!

Anonymous said...

Tom noted:

"I hope your area of the civilised world soon returns to normal, and that NZ wins the final cricket test match, and shut up Geoff Boycott! His endless gloating is most annoying!!"


Tom read that last sentence very carefully and think abou it.

DennisDiehl said...

If I am not mistaken, this is the same Dennis Gordon I talked with at college in the late 70's about his being an absolute expert in the evolution of a particular mollusk. I thought that was fascinating and he loved it. Since I was even by then embracing evolution over a literal view of the Genesis story, it was really refreshing to talk with him about the topic of evolution in general.

No one seems to have ever given him a difficult time over it. I suspect he is so knowledgeable about it that no one dared.

Lussenheide said...

L_______________
U____________G__
SEAMUS___B___A__
S________Y___V__
E________KSCRIBE
N________E___N__
HERBERT__R______
E_____O__B______
I_____MAHON_____
DIEHL____B______
E_______________


Bill Lussenheide, Menifee, CA USA

Anonymous said...

"Now you know what it must be like in Baghdad - minus the bombs and carnage, of course!"


Tom only approves of wholesale human slaughter when it is carried out by God. Otherwise, it's evil.

People killing people: Bad

God killing people: Sad, unfortunate, but Good

Paul

Anonymous said...

We exchanged a few pleasantries with Dennis and his lovely wife a couple of years back when we realised we were sitting in a cafe in Rotorua completely surrounded by Worldwiders (or should that be ex-Worldwiders?) enjoying their FOT, which, as far as I know, they still hold each year. Perhaps that says something about the generally fond memories I believe kiwis have of their FOTs, that they want to keep it going.

Now to important matters: can an evolutionary marine biologist with his foot firmly planted on the Easter Bunny's tail answer the eternal mystery of the ages: how does that bunny get to lay so many chocolate eggs?

Anonymous said...

"how does that bunny get to lay so many chocolate eggs?"

Actually it is a mystery. No one has ever actually seen an Easter Bunny in the process of laying a chocolate egg.

Actually it's like the Trinity. There is the Bunny, the egg and the unseen force that lays the egg. But the egg is the bunny as is the force the egg and the bunny combined. These three are one. The Bunny, the egg and the force.

It's amazing and I'm so inspired.

Anonymous said...

""how does that bunny get to lay so many chocolate eggs?""


Natural selection of rabbits in an isolated area who experienced high rates of particular mutations after eating cocao beans. We have the transitional chocolates to prove it.

Paul

Anonymous said...

As long as they are free range bunnies, I guess I don't mind.

Anonymous said...

Interesting to observe the evolution of Dr Dennis Gordon to orthodoxy.Of course,the study of the evolution of the snail need not necessarily conflict with one's own private and religious beliefs.I believe it is termed "bifocal perspective."

And yes, he is an interesting speaker.

Gavin, we trust that the gooey egg and flat white caused no distress to your still sensitive digestive system.The eggs with the yoke in the middle are the nicest, in my opinion.

Enjoy your Astarte party.


Seamus

DennisDiehl said...

I wonder what Mike Feazell's Easter Sermon is about. Every year they pull out his Christmas Tree sermon..

"The Tree
By Mike Feazell

The evergreen tree symbolizes the faithfulness of God,
remaining forever the same,
even during the darkness and cold of winter.

The lights or candles on the tree symbolize our Savior Jesus Christ,
whose life was the Light of all people,
the Light that shines in the darkness
and which enlightens everyone.

Some people put red bows on the tree,
symbolizing the shed blood of our Savior,
by which our sins are forgiven.

Ornaments symbolize fruit,
which in turn symbolizes the gracious gifts and provision
of God for his people..."

etc..

Perhaps it is as follows.

"The Bunny symbolizes soft and fluffy doctrines of the New WCG.

The Easter egg represents our skulls which can be cracked open to reveal the yoke this all has been."

Peeps represent the surviving brethren. All sugar but no nutritional value.

The fake green easter basket grass stuff represents the ministry. It holds up the sweetness and fluffyness and can be used over and over year after year saving money on investing in the real thing.

Easter Sun-Rise services represent the closest thing to the true origins of the Holiday known to man.

Exchanging the Lamb of God for the Ham of God represents ummm, represents....errr, I have no clue.

Jelly Beans represent the New WCG which when planted refuse to grow and then dissolve away.

KScribe said...

>>Jelly Beans represent the New WCG which when planted refuse to grow and then dissolve away.<<


Dennis,

That was hilarious! I love your humor my friend!!

Kscribe :-)

DennisDiehl said...

I believe Mike wrote his "The Tree" towards the tail end of my time and I remember feeling naseu, naeu, nawsee...sick.

Anonymous said...

"Interesting to observe the evolution of Dr Dennis Gordon to orthodoxy."

Ahhh... the continued power of Orthodoxy over out society is a marvel to behold!

KScribe said...

Here is a film even Tom could love. It's a HOOT!
If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?

Tom Mahon said...

Kscribe said...

>>>Here is a film even Tom could love. It's a HOOT!<<<

Sorry, but I am not interested in watching it, as I tend to gird up the loins of my mind against madness!

BTW, I took one quick glance at your web site and thought that I had visited Dante's Inferno.

Anonymous said...

Only Tom would have loins in his head.

Anonymous said...

If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?

KScribe,

16 hour days, working 7 days a week, with just two days off to come to seminars... I wasn't sure if it was talking about Communism or modern American Corporate Life.

Or for that matter, Church Corporate life -- if "life" is what you could call it. Tales, particularly from the folks who worked in the Data Processing department in the WCG at Pasadena, are replete with the horrors of actually having to work into the Sabbath for long job runs on the IBM Mainframe, chaotic conditions of remodeling with desks and chairs everywhere but where they should have been, the sacrifices that the DP personnel had to make for "The Work" at lower pay than what they could have gotten elsewhere and often being paid late.

Communism doesn't have to be the ONLY nightmare to fear. Do I hear footsteps?

Anonymous said...

"Sorry, but I am not interested in watching it, as I tend to gird up the loins of my mind against madness!"

You also gird up your mental loins against reality on a regular basis.


Paul

Anonymous said...

Overnight some idiot had wiped out a major power pole on the main road, and there's nothing quite as conducive to a quiet day as the complete absence of electricity.

What an important missed opportunity: We would have thought that one person here would declare:

God cuts off Gavin Rumney's power! The judgment of God has come upon the ungodly who do not believe in our savior Herbert Armstrong, Lord and Master, End Time Apostle and Prophet!

Or words that add up to something like that.

I've tried and tried, but some people just never learn from what they could come to know from my postings.

        AMERICAN KABUKI said...

church corporate critic said...

Tales, particularly from the folks who worked in the Data Processing department in the WCG at Pasadena, are replete with the horrors of actually having to work into the Sabbath for long job runs on the IBM Mainframe...


See here pardner, working in "God's Work" is kind of like being a deputy working for the Sheriff.....the department head is always an ordained minister, and he's got a badge from God! A minister works on Saturday and does not sin! But if just any lame fool does work, they're going to the Lake of Fire to be sure!. Those working under the minister are just like Deputy Festus helping Marshall Dillon keep Dodge City safe from the sheep rustling dis-see-dents, therefore they don't sin neither.

And since the work is always in one financial crisis or another, we can't pay these folks for overtime you know.

Anonymous said...

we can't pay these folks for overtime

Or straight time either, it seems.

The only revenge was that pot of coffee with grounds in the bottom sitting there for a week when a higher up muckety muck came over and had a cup.

Sorry, I just confused "Gunsmoke" with "WCGsmoke".

Mr. Drillum! Mr. Drillum!

        AMERICAN KABUKI said...

tired skeptic said...

only revenge was that pot of coffee with grounds in the bottom sitting there for a week when a higher up muckety muck came over and had a cup.



....not to mention that carton of buttermilk Leroy Neff kept in the fridge to flavor his cup of coffee....gag....how he drank that much butterfat in a cup coffee I'll never know.......

Weinland Watch said...

Hah, bamboo, you sound like one of the ministers of misery my congregation had back in the day. He absolutely couldn't stand buttermilk, and would rail constantly from the pulpit against its evil ways.

(He's still with the mothership, oddly enough; I wonder if he's figured out exactly what it is he's talking about, in the 10+ years intervening since the changes? Some of those "transitional" "grace by salvation" sermons were the best two hours of sleep I've ever had.)

Mind, that seemed to be a typical tactic of Canadian ministers, or maybe it was just the one congregation: Upon getting a new one, we were always informed, in no uncertain terms of the one food item they could not stand.

Likely, this was so unwitting members wouldn't serve it to them when Minister and Wife invited themselves over for dinner!!

Anonymous said...

Bamboo_Bends, re: "....not to mention that carton of buttermilk Leroy Neff kept in the fridge to flavor his cup of coffee....gag....how he drank that much butterfat in a cup coffee I'll never know......."

Hilarious...Where in the world are you getting your "facts"? I am his daughter and he NEVER put buttermilk in his coffee. He uses a bit of milk or half and half if available. The buttermilk he drinks occasionally by itself, mainly as a "digestive aid" I believe.