Thursday, 26 July 2007

Milking the Canuck Cash Cow

Canadians are a generous lot, and it's very kind of them to subsidize struggling Third World ministries south of their border. Ministries like Packatollah Dave's Restored Church of God, headquartered in the malaria infested swamps of Wadsworth, Ohio. Kudos go to Stan for laying out the information in an excellent piece of journalism on the AR blog. If you're Canadian, read it and weep.


Anonymous said...

What can we say?

"Pack-a-toll" before you go to church. Not for the highway, but for the instantaneous offering that Dave could well collect each Sabbath, in future.Perhaps we should not give him ideas.


J said...

The best thing about this is that the RCG cannot deny what is in plain documentation with the Canadian government. There is no accountability of the third tithe funds, except by the word of the corporate executives. A truly responsible ministry would never consider such an omission an oversight, now would they. I give Stan excellent kudos for spelling out the truth.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps use of third tithe funds could be justified in two ways:

First, it is for the fatherless, widow and stranger, and hardly anyone is stranger than David Pack.

And then, if his dad is dead now, David Pack would be one of the fatherless.

Charlie said...

I have spent enough time in Canada for work and pleasure to have an idea of the burdens already placed on the wonderful citizens there. Although a first world country, Canada has an extensive social services system which results in an astonishing array of taxes and a heavy burden of them at that. The standard of living is similar to that of Americans but the avergae income is somewhat lower. How Canadian members of a COG could afford an additional 30% hit on their income and keep their lights on and food in the fridge is beyond me.

camfinch said...

"And then, if his dad is dead now, David Pack would be one of the fatherless."

Dave's dad, Randall Pack, has indeed been dead for some years. (Unlike his power-mad son, Rand Pack was a decent, generous, friendly human being. Dave seems to miss out on that whole description, including the "human being" part.)

Yep, I would bet that Dave figures himself as truly meriting some of that third tithe, since he is now an orphan.

Samuel Martin said...

Tithing is one of the simplest subjects to understand, yet it has been misunderstood and misused by religious leaders.

One of the first studies that my father (Dr. Ernest L.Martin) ever wrote that helped literally tens of thousands of families understand this issue better was the booklet "The Tithing Fallacy."

Anyone who is interested in more information on this publication is welcomed to be in touch.


samuel martin

Douglas Becker said...

Just for fun and nothing more...

Gavin, please clarify: Packatollah Dave's Restored Church of God, headquartered in the malaria infested swamps of Wadsworth, Ohio.

Google Maps shows Wadsworth safely nestled within the boundaries of Interstate 76, State Roads 57, 21 and 585, not too far from Akron, Ohio [with a private joke of the distant past of a mythical city called Dakron, Ohio].

The nearest body of water is Dorothy Lake, although across the Interstate is Baberton Reservoir. There does seem to be a small body of water off of Kyle Street downtown, surrounded by trees and it looks mighty brownish green from satellite and surrounded by trees. There is a company called "Bear Swamp Dredging" but it seems to be somewhat north of Wadsworth. There is also Bear Swamp Lead and Leather on Bear Swamp Road near Wadsworth Road in the vicinity of the River Styx.

It may be of interest to readers that on Monday, June 6, 2005, the commissioner's meeting had resolutions to close sections of Bear Swamp Road. Malaria? Perhaps. It should be noted that the meeting with the Pledge of Allegiance and a Prayer. This is certainly a good way to get on good footing for an area which contains the headquarters of God's one true Restored Church of God today although Commissioners convened the public hearing on the regular petition for annexation of 30acres from Wadsworth Township to the City of Wadsworth.

The Restored Church of God certainly has convenient access, if one could say that anywhere in Ohio has convenient access: It less than a mile right off Interstate 76 as you go north on High Street. Mr. Pack should take note of the Biblical injunctions against being established in High places for it could be a bad Divine sign, even though the RCG is at 1 Park Center Drive. The RCG makes this impressive claim: "You have reached the largest biblically-based website in the world! What it contains is simply massive. It is so vast that only by carefully exploring it can you appreciate what we offer." And you thought with over 300 papers was big. Oh, well! Older retired text claims, "Are You a First-Time Visitor? You have reached the only website on earth that explains the truth of virtually every biblical doctrine—and in extraordinary detail." Must have changed their mind. Likely with a bout with a fever. We understand that the quinine in the McKenzie River Corporation Howling Monkey Energy Drink may be of some benefit to those at RCG headquarters, if indeed, Malaria is in the area. Plus it has loads of caffeine, just the thing for office staff to process all those checks coming in the morning mail. A 16 ounce can of Howling Monkey Energy Drink contains 160 milligrams of caffeine, a bit more than Red Bull and at least twice Mountain Dew, but no where near coffee ounce for ounce.

As one concerned about the West Nile Virus in our own area, I would certainly think that the Wadsworth County Commissioners would be very interested in any information we might have concerning mama Anopheles. The Center for Disease Control makes the suspect claim that Malaria was eliminated from the United States in 1951. What do they know? They are only the US CDC. We probably have better sources, although we do need to be sensitive to the resolution passed recently by the New Zealand Parliament concerning making fun of New Zealand Parliament making it illegal to do so.

So if you could enlighten us in the usual delightful way, we would well... be enlightened.

Douglas Becker said...

Kiwi, the People...

Please note that

New Zealand has banned all forms of political satire

No longer can media show pictures of Members of Parliament sleeping at their desks by fiat. No humor allowed.

So we need to be careful of sensitivities toward our brethren in Kiwi Land [are we still able to use the term "Kiwi"?] and let parody remain the sole proprietary venue of the Aussies, British Comedy Shows and Jon
Stewart on the Daily Show.

Gavin said...

Uh, well, not really. There's a rich vein of political satire in NZ. The rather silly legislation - which has attracted far more satire that it was intended to suppress - seeks to limit photographs of Members in the House who:

*fall asleep
*indulge in "finger language"
*excavate nasal cavities

and other behaviours likely to make the rest of us think less of them. Both TV networks have indicated they'll ignore the ruling, and the politicians are hastily backtracking on the whole thing.

I have no idea whether similar rules protect the dignity of the US senate from Fox News.

Douglas Becker said...

I have no idea whether similar rules protect the dignity of the US senate from Fox News.

Gavin, I assure that they don't. They aren't similar rules: They are the Fox Network News rules -- the ones similar to the drumming out of the Fox corps the journalists who were to expose BGH and who assisted in making the video documentary, The Corporation. Here in America, corporations rule, not Parliament... er, Congress.

[If pro is the prefix meaning "for" and con is the prefix meaning "against", does that mean that Congress is against progress?]