Friday, 13 July 2007

8 Tribes


This is especially for the Kiwi readers of this blog - all 3 of you ;-)

Which tribe do you belong to? No, that doesn't mean Ngai Tahu or Tuhoe. We're talking North Shore (achievers), Grey Lynn (intellectuals), Balclutha (staunch rural), Remuera (entitled), Otara (community), Raglan (free spirits), Papatoetoe (unpretentious) and Cuba Street (avant-garde).

Harry Potter needed a sorting hat, but all you need do is answer a few searching questions with a modicum of honesty.

My results indicate that I should never try to cross the Auckland Harbour Bridge again!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dennis Diehl notes:

A Guide to the 8 Tribes of Armstrong:

1. Tkachonians: Far Western. Intellectually compliant with mainstream beliefs to fill the need for acceptance. A wealthy Clan who value material things above the spiritual and get teary eyed over Virgins and Death by Crucifixion. Form of Government: "I dunno, what do you think?"

2. Flurridians: Midwest. Fear and shame oriented and lost in the old ways still. Prefer flint tools over modern ones and festivals and worship days are clan exlusive. Anti-intellectual. Tribal Chief determines all tribal truth. Clan members live in lower class conditions. Chief does not.
Form of Government: "God says...and wants me to tell you."

3. Meridians: East Coast: Anti-intellectual. Keepers of the "Ten Dumbest Ideas Humans Ever Came Up With." Tribal Chief presides and lesser Chiefs hang out. A very mobile tribe and the Chief has risen and fallen through the ranks of most other tribes for final training.

4. UCGonians. Here and there. Migrating to Texas due to emotional needs of the past. Pre-Tkachonian in belief. Outwardly intellectual but boundry sensitive. Form of Government: "Hey,it's my turn."

5. Davidians: Upper Midwest. Anti-intellectual and brain dead. In capable of blushing. Over-arching in world view and amazing, huge and incredible in sense of self worth. Chief known among the other clans to be the reincarnation of Narrcissus. Form of Government: "MyWayorTheHighwaycracy"

6. Cogwritarians: This tribe has not yet been determined to be a separate tribe but seems to live off all others. Intellectual but sadly and of course, narrowminded and nitpicky. They shun crosses and are quick to note this at memorials for the dead. More like gypsies, Cogwritarians take credit for the good things and put off on others all they wish to remain in denial over. Clergy shuns ordination and was never offered it. Form of Government: "I deem this correct."

7.Wild World of God Church:
This tribe has gone extinct but like sandcrabs, Tkachonians live in the discarded shells of this founding tribe. Once ruled by Narcissus and very materialistic, Tribal spirits have been noted in Davidians and Flurridians. Form of Government: "From the Pop Down."

8. Gavinians: Everywhere: Intellectual, openminded and darn nice. Deep thinkers with a soul for the most part. Antagonists to all other tribes. Keepers of tribal sanity and accountability. No rituals, tribal members keep their resources, Tribal Shaman reported to live in a Volcano in New Zealand, but few have ever met him personally. Form of Government:
"Yeah right."

Anonymous said...

PS I failed to mention of the Davidians.

Albert Einstein does not under stand the nature of light, matter and space/time because he has "wild hair" and no comb. Socrates, Plato and Aristotle add nothing to Davidians because they dress like girls.

Anonymous said...

Dennis - That was absofrigginglutely hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Dennis:

Thanks Charlie. Gavin knows how to set the stage for my familiar spirit Hilarion to start channeling.....:)

Anonymous said...

addendum:

Meridian form of government:

God's government AFTER I am in charge.

Flurridian form of Government:

God works through families.

Favorite Davidian Movie:

Little Big Man

Anonymous said...

The 8th tribe, the Gavinians, are an interesting lot.

The GRAND POOBAH of the Gavinians we are told is intellectual,enquiring,scholarly, liberal in outlook,generous in deed.

But as for him living in a volcano,that is another matter.
More research needs to be done to establish the plain truth of the matter.

The tribe's following is probably more global than local, though there are a handful, I believe,of loosely affiliated ex- COG members
who read, at least,the writings of the POOBAH.

Few would have been to his sacred place of worship "down under".And he doesn't levy tithes,either.BY his electronic works we know Him.
And he is seen as a moderate by most which is truly correct.

May his writings continue to be a source of inspiration to all and sundry.

Seamus

Anonymous said...

so let it be written....so let it be posted...

Gavinians...the few, the Enlightened, the free!

Ganesha: Om Gum Ganapatayei Namaha

Translation: 'Om and salutations to the remover of obstacles for which Gavin is the seed.'

Anonymous said...

The Raglan Tribe – Free spirited

The key word for the Raglan tribe is FREEDOM; its icons are the adventurer and the artist. Raglan tribe members want to create and control their own destiny. Their approach to authority is not so much defiance as indifference. They need to do what they need to do and if the rules don’t fit then the rules are wrong.
The need to be free can express itself as a strong entrepreneurial spirit, and many of our most distinctive off-beat business success stories appear to have been driven by entrepreneurs with the Raglan spirit. These are the mavericks of New Zealand society – the people who did what the others only dreamed of. As workers, members of the Raglan tribe are better off without a boss. They’re natural self-employed contractors, free-agent artisans and business owners.
In 8 Tribes : the hidden classes of New Zealand we identify the diverse strands of this individualistic tribe – but also discover the strong effects that the myth of a Raglan life is having on New Zealanders’ view of ourselves

Yep that's me!!

Anonymous said...

The Raglan Tribe – Free spirited

The key word for the Raglan tribe is FREEDOM; its icons are the adventurer and the artist. Raglan tribe members want to create and control their own destiny. Their approach to authority is not so much defiance as indifference. They need to do what they need to do and if the rules don’t fit then the rules are wrong.
The need to be free can express itself as a strong entrepreneurial spirit, and many of our most distinctive off-beat business success stories appear to have been driven by entrepreneurs with the Raglan spirit. These are the mavericks of New Zealand society – the people who did what the others only dreamed of. As workers, members of the Raglan tribe are better off without a boss. They’re natural self-employed contractors, free-agent artisans and business owners.
In 8 Tribes : the hidden classes of New Zealand we identify the diverse strands of this individualistic tribe – but also discover the strong effects that the myth of a Raglan life is having on New Zealanders’ view of ourselves

Well, this explains why I have no interest in the church wide "fast" next month. Nor any of the others that have been called for the past few summers.
Not once have we been asked to fast to get closer to God. It is always to "GET" something else.