Sunday, 30 December 2007
Predictions for 2008
A new year is almost upon us all, and rather than let Ron Weinland (that's not him in the picture) have all the fun, here are a few alternative predictions.
* The Great Tribulation will not begin this year, and Ron will have a problem with all those books that say it will gathering dust in his garage.
* A major COG figure from times past - perhaps more than one - will pass on to their eternal reward, leaving those still here trying to come up with something tactful but true to say about them.
* The main COGs (UCG, LCG) will continue to lose ministers, several of whom will start up their own religious business venture (with little success.)
* The main COGs will continue to bleed members, some of whom will go out with high drama, but most of which will quietly disengage.
* At least one of the minor COGs will disappear completely, and hardly anyone will notice.
* There will be some really wacky ads appearing in The Journal.
* Rod Meredith will call a church-wide fast.
* Joe Tkach will not resign as Pastor General and not put in place representative structures in the WCG.
* David Hulme will continue to clock up frequent flier miles.
* Bob Thiel will make an unflattering comparison between LCG and UCG (one guess as to which will be "unflattered".)
* Under guise of "watching world news" several COGs will issue outrageous political commentaries (what else is new?)
* Scores of members in splinter groups will suffer irrecoverable financial loss or die unnecessarily following church teaching about healing and tithing (including special appeals.)
* LCG will publish an article explaining why Christians shouldn't vote.
* The new CGI website - if it ever eventuates - won't have been worth the wait.
* Fred Coulter's "new" translation of the whole Bible will be a colossal waste of time and tithes.
Well, OK, most of these are dead certs, but it's nice to have a high accuracy rating. It's also admittedly very similar to last year's prognostications... but then, well, these guys really are predictable. One thing I did get wrong last time was: "Ron Weinland will start qualifying and backtracking as he realises that he's painted himself into a date-setting corner." In fact Ronald's lemming impulse has moved up a gear.
Now it's over to you... what do you think 2008 will bring in the post-Herbal gulag?
The Port Austin kerfuffle has been resolved by the courts, if anyone cares... I certainly don't. The Journal however has something about it on their website.
What's more remarkable is that on the same website there's an article by Norm Edwards called How to Start and Run a Local Church.
Any irony is probably unintentional.