Wednesday, 15 August 2007
Dear David C. Pack
Congratulations in being the early leader in the AW leadership poll.
As you may - or may not - know, we're asking which of six self anointed Church of God bosses will most rapidly disappear into the mists of obscurity over the next 50 years.
It seems, Apostle Pack, that you're top of the pops when it comes to "the forgettability factor." Despite your hugely significant role as God's Number One bloke, singled out by the Big Guy Himself, most AW readers think you're dog tucker.
Heck Dave, I voted for you myself!
Y'know Dave, I think you deserve a PR makeover among the godless skeptics that frequent sites like AW, and I'd like to offer my services. If you need a quality reference, I'll forward Bob Thiel's email address.
AW could really put together a truly unique marketing package to upscale your X-factor. Need I remind you that it was AW that launched the massively influential makeover for Roderick C. Meredith that forever associated him with the affectionately respectful pet-name "Spanky"? And you know where the reverent honorific "Packatollah" came from, right? Consider it a free sample.
Dave, my heart is bleeding to see you so embarrassingly under-rated. I may even be able to persuade Dennis and Doug to sub-contract on the project.
Give me a call, we'll do lunch (no ham and you're paying) and I'll run some rather large figures by you.
My charges are totally unreasonable.
Meantime, as a gesture of goodwill, I'm encouraging all AW readers (think of them as prospective RCG tithers) to launch an in-depth study of your God-given status by clicking over to Gary Scott's excellent XCG blog and listening to your authentic, spirit-inspired words via audio clip.
But don't sign up with Gary before talking with me. Whatever he charges - I'll double!
And that's a promise.