Wednesday 11 February 2009

Web Witnesses

The Internet trends bring both good news and bad to COG ministries in the latest Alexa update. Dropping out of the top million listings on the Web are World News & Prophecy (UCG), and the LCG member-site ( Overall, however, traffic is on the rise. Here are the COG high-flyers. The number denotes which thousand band each site sits in, so at 503, AW is actually ranked at 503,198 - close enough to LCG to breathe down the neck of Roderick the Unready (503,176).

1. Still sitting in the top spot is Ronnie Weinland's The court jester always pulls an audience! 76
2. The UCG's stately galleon, The Good News. 79
3. Fresh off the Oklahoma compound in Edmond, the Trumpet. Were those helicopters flying overhead black? 99
4. Can you clip your toenails on the Sabbath and still be a true Christian? Ask Alan Ruth at 124
5. The first of the official church websites, up 10,000 on last time, UCG. 130
6. Keeping up appearances - with David Hulme rather than Hyacinth Bouquet - Vision. 146
7. Packatollah Dave hangs in there for the RCG. 153
8. None other than the double-doc, Bob Thiel, sailing out way in front of any official LCG site. 161
9. Here's a church site from Charlotte, NC. Nope, nothing to do with LCG, Bible Tools is the work of the Ritenbaugh CGG. 166
10. Spluttering in at number 10, the Tkach sectlet, which may or may not be called WCG if the Glendora GICks get their way... 178
11. Tomorrow's World finally puts one on the board for Rod "Spanky" Meredith of the LCG. 192
12. Ernie Martin may be long gone, but his nephesh goes marching on (metaphorically of course) in the guise of David Sielaff's ASK. 330
13. The Ritenbaugh church site, 383
14. I once described Vic Kubik's indepedent UCG site as Kubikistan, which was uncharitable. Vic punches with the heavyweights. 392
15. A flurry of applause for Gerry! PCG's official site drags the chain to accompanying moans. 497
16. The true Philadelphian (but not Flurridian) Work of God - LCG's official church site. Is that a cry of Hosanna from Bob? 503
17. Yes, well, there's always one black sheep... Ambassador Watch cuddles up to the Rodomite edifice. 503
18. And hot on our heels, throwing money hither and yon on spiffy design, it's Greg ("I'm no legalist") Albrecht at PTM. 508
19. UCG's Beyond Today chugs in. 586
20. Pass the wieners and ketchup, Ronnie's PKG takes a bow. 587
21. Ron Dart's Born To Win takes a dive. 705
22. Fred Coulter (CBCG) gains a little extra traction. 802
23. Don Billingsley's Faithful Flock also make a small gain. 830


Anonymous said...


This is hilarious! ROTFLMAO! Given Spanky's extreme fascination with gay sex this is a most approximate nickname! Of course this will surely send Dr. Bob into a screaming fit!

Anonymous said...

Everyone loves a clown, well ok not everyone, but they do draw a crowd of the insecure, braindead, uncritical, God-haunted non-thinkers.

Ron has never given a profoundly theological sermon in his life. He merely tells the audience what to know and think and then sprinkles his sermons with his nervous laughter and meaningless comments.

You know...clown stuff....:)

Anonymous said...

And conspicuously absent are any of the remnants of GTA - his rerun site, ICG, and not even the re-invigorated CGI.

A sad no-show as for many of us he was our first encounter with the WCG. Maybe it's because his splinters don't offer tickets to Petra.

Anonymous said...

People must be loosing interest in this whole world wide thing. The comments are getting fewer and fewer. Could people be finally growing up

Anonymous said...

or it could be that Ted's last 2 churches are so liberal that they don't appeal to serious students.

Anonymous said...

With the recycling of GTA's work and a website that I think needs a massive revamp, I can see they lost their edge over other splinters.

As for being liberal, Ron Dart is still in there, and he keeps well away from the hard-core fringe issues that scream from the other websites.

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:26 -

Our time has been termed postmodernist, post-industrialist, post-Fordist... perhaps it is approaching post-Herbist and post-COGist...

Richard said...

As for clipping those toenails -- you'd sure better do it before the Passover service.

There's a stand-up routine about foot-washing preparation simply waiting to happen. But many COG'ers probably would be too "sober-minded" to laugh at it.

Anonymous said...

I was comparing these rankings with the sites that I personally find edifying, or look to for spiritual guidance. (Dr. Charles Stanley) 42,655 39,861 (Mark Copeland) 38,861 (James and Betty Robison) 479,649

So, if I know how to translate these properly, we're looking at 42, 39, 38, and 479. We've seen the abyssimal baptismal figures for the ACOGs over the past several years, so I suspect that the sites that I've cited above probably are leading much greater numbers of people to Jesus Christ than are the ACOGs.

I know, some joker out there is saying to himself, "but, Bob, these groups don't keep the sabbath! God doesn't work through people who don't keep the sabbath!". And my response would be, "No, I know. He only works through people who commit incest, get busted for drunkenness on college campus, or ordain themselves apostles, prophets, witnesses, etc."