Wednesday 6 August 2008

On the piste with Gerry

The question of the hour: how competent is Philadelphia Church of God Pastor General Gerry Flurry on the piste? We don't even know if he can ski - seems more the toboggan type. But if he does decide to sluice down the slushy slopes we hope he'll be sober.

So much for the term piste - pronounced peest according to my dictionary - not the more obvious way. So now let's move on to a completely unrelated subject.

Short of a little light reading? Enjoy crime TV shows and Judge Judy? Boy, have we got a deal for you. Yes, we all knew about this already... courtesy of the Painful Truth and other sites. But this is more than just old news if you've never seen the official documentation (available as a PDF file).

So settle back in the armchair, crack a six pack and tuck a copy of the Philadelphia Trumpet under the cushion to establish the mood. Then click across.

Finally, a little helpful counsel for confused or disoriented Pastor Generals (or is that Pastors General?) and wannabe prophets...

* never attempt to drive off when a police officer stops to have a wee chat.
* never attempt to bribe a police officer - at least with anything as small as a $20 bill.
* never tell obvious porkies to a police officer.
* if you're gonna drink and drive, make it a ginger beer.

Addendum: some people may be having problems with the link. If so, here's an alternate URL.


Anonymous said...

Seeing how he's not had a run-in with the law in the past 15 years, I think we can say that he's, at the very least, learned his lesson not to drink and drive. That's not to say, however, that he doesn't drink. I am not quite sure which is more dangerous.

Anonymous said...

"If the District Attorney presented the evidence to a jury, they could find me guilty of the charge."

Gee, ya think, Six Pack?

There's a lot of good information in that document. Recommended reading.

Anonymous said...

You really should block out his SSN.

Anonymous said...

Oops! GF's SSN should have been blacked out from the pdf. But then again, I doubt anyone would want his identity...

Anonymous said...

Leave his SS number there. It serves a purpose if one wants to investigate further. It is a tool.

Richard said...

I agree with giving Mr. Flurry the benefit of the doubt, about not DUI'ing since 1993.

But I wonder if he has a driver nowadays, to get around such things. Perhaps his son?

camfinch said...

I suppose GF did learn a big lesson about drinking and driving. I think I read somewhere a few years ago that in a sermon he talked about his alcoholic father, and said that he himself had largely stopped drinking some years prior.

But it's interesting: I know that if I had to listen to Flurry's preaching, I'd need a few drinks. Seems that he needed some beers that night after probably listening to his own sermon earlier that day!

Anonymous said...

Odd that Six-Pack's tracks were discovered by COGwriter a day after they were posted here. Well, he did say after bashing Ron he might as well give Gerry a turn. When I pulled up the PDF, I remember seeing that on the PCOG site many moons ago.

Do you want to put up some of HWA's court docs and see if Bob follows your lead again?

Anonymous said...

Flurry got plastered, pulled to the side of the road to sleep it off. This was far from good behavior, but in the span of a lifetime, hardly an extraordinary event. He got caught sleeping, not driving. Trying to bribe a cop isn't cool, but it works now and then -- all the time in some other countries. Remember, he was so inebriated that he started his car, putting it alternately in drive and reverse, with feet on brake and accelerator simultaneously, over and over again. The guy was hopelessly drunk, at least once in his life, which at least isn't a pattern.

I'm not a Flurry supporter; he's making his living on catastrophically flawed teachings. But I remember his daughter at AC. She was altogether a lovely young woman, conducting herself with exemplary poise and dignity. If she is a reflection of Flurry's teachings on personal behavior -- as opposed to autocratic policies and Armstrong worship -- then one has to give him credit for that much.

Anonymous said...


The plural is Pastors-General.

They ALL should be put out to pasture.

For Gerry you should prescribe a


Anonymous said...

I am not a Gerry fan but give the guy a was 15 years ago. I notice Thiel has it on his website tonight so who was first....Thiel or the Watch.

Interesting reading though.

Anonymous said...

Events of this nature never seem to make a blip on the radar screens of your average ACOGger. Flurry probably never lost a single member of his congregation over this.

That is because the sheep are programmed to be loyal to a philosophy, which is really strange when you think of it, seeing as how WCG was a personality cult, and many of the splinters have patterned themselves after that same mold. Flurry happens to revere and venerate the original'personality' (HWA), a man with whose flaws we are all deeply familiar.

What other discipline do we know of in which, when the leaders are totally discredited, the people will still persist in practicing that discipline in the privacy of their living rooms? Brain washing runs really deep!


Anonymous said...

I read the report and thought it was funny that he tried to bribe the officer with $25.00! He was staggering!

Anonymous said...

You really should block out his SSN.

Stop worrying about con artists like Gerald Flurry. If you must worry, start worrying about his poor victims. Their estates will be cleaned out without resorting to theft of their identities. Gerald does this by stealing dozens of other identities, such as: That Prophet, The Lawgiver (not the Law Keeper), etc.

Gerald claimed to have quit drinking some time after his arrest incident. Too bad he is still "drunk on the blood of the [suckers]."

One thing you can be sure of: There is no way that Herbert Armstrong would have ever listened to, or submitted to, a nut like Gerald. Of course, it is hard to imagine Herbert ever submitting to anyone.

Gerald Flurry plagiarized the writings of Jules Dervaes, called his version Malachi's Message, revised it umpteen times over the years, and now claims that it was delivered by a mighty angel and is the "little scroll" mentioned in the book of Revelation. It looks like Gerald's mother never taught him not to lie.

With the PCG built on such a satanic fraud, it should not even be called a Church of God. Too many people are not content to read the Bible and soak up its teachings. Instead, they desire craziness to satisfy some strange longing.

One PCG member that I talked to about ten years ago thought that they would flee to Petra within two years. He should have fled from the PCG even sooner. I guess they had not yet received the new revelation that they first had to finance another auditorium. Expect more excuses, delays, and expenses to come up before the end comes.

Remember that those who support greedy, lying, false prophets like Gerald Flurry are not exactly innocent themselves. They are helping to spread lies. They are not supporting the truth.

Anonymous said...

It's time you all got a life!! With a name like "byker bob", do you think there may be any dui in his past and certainly in his future? It's always the most "innocent" that cast stones!

Anonymous said...

Perhaps the angels could take the wheel & guide his car home - like they did for Perbert & Loma (the "miracle" that confirmed the calling of the "End Time" "Apostle")

I still have a first edition of Malachi's Massage - Are these worth anything ? - might see what it gets on ebay.

Richard said...

>> He got caught sleeping, not driving. <<

That's enough in Oklahoma. I used to work in radio news there, and the state Speaker of the House got caught slumped over a steering wheel in the 1980s. It was actually a second DUI-type offense, and he wound up losing his position.

Anonymous said...

Well, what do you know! After several years of inactivity, PCG has just updated its Web page, . Compared to most of the other xCG sites out there, it's pretty good. Too bad about the hideous reality behind the fa├žade...

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 12:17: If there is anything I like better than pondering Talmudic logic, it is pondering the logic of ACOG splinter members.

Next time I express misgivings about HWA committing incest, masturbating, or passing out in his own vomit on the Gulfstream, you'll probably post something like, "Don't motorcycle enthusiasts do all of those things?"

As a compassionate new covenant Christian, I most certainly believe in forgiveness of sins, but I also believe that those in the ministry need to be in compliance with the qualifications of a bishop which Paul outlined for Timothy when aquainting him with the principles of church leadership. You have a problem with that?


Anonymous said...

/-- "Don't motorcycle enthusiasts do all of those things?" --/

Hey, that's a great excuse if I turn it around!

Libro's Pastor: So, Libro, I hear you've been cheating on your wife! With Living University girls! And you've been drinking yourself to sleep every night! Plus you have a stack of Hustler in your basement! -- not to mention that photo album of underage boys in the nude! And the other day, you screamed at a female member for five hours until she became a virtual vegetable! Why, I hear you've even been using your third tithe to buy new furniture and drapes!

Libro: But don't God's apostles and evangelists do all of those things?

Libro's Pastor: True. Well, as long as you stay loyal to God's Headquarters and don't cause any real problems, I suppose you're okay.


(Though I must admit -- despite being no fan of That Prophet, it does seem like old news to be trotting out the same old DUI case after 15 years...)

Anonymous said...

Libro said - old news

True, though it's an oldie but a goodie. Or as often appeared in the Phantom strip, "For those who came in late..."

Anonymous said...

Flurry said "The crystal used in the chandeliers is made of 35 percent leaded glass that has been machine cut and polished. Lead oxide is added to the molten glass, which gives lead crystal a higher index of refraction than normal glass and “consequently much greater sparkle showing all of these different colors of the rainbow,” according to Mr. Flurry."

Lead oxide is added to the molten glass, which gives lead crystal a higher index of refraction than normal......

Smoke and mirrors from the Flurry camp. Consumers of cheap Iranian onyx!