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Saturday 31 May 2008

A(nother) Witless Countdown

There's a little over a week to go before Pentecost arrives (June 8) on the COG calendar. The "Great Harlot" and her daughter churches celebrated their version of Pentecost some time ago, but that's not what Ronnie Weinland is talking about when he prattles on about the impending End. To repeat what he's said:

"If by Pentecost I'm just going to make this real clear to everyone. If by Pentecost it is not powerfully and abundantly clear that there has been a great deal of destruction that will clearly encompass a third of all plant life in the US and at least the clear results of this mingled with blood the death of very much animal life and the beginning of large numbers of human life then I will stop preaching.

"Just so all the critics and everyone out there will understand. I am true to my word in these things. OK? And for all the critics if by the end of July and for most likely around Pentecost if nothing has clearly caused great destruction and death I will make it very clear that I was a false prophet. I will do exactly what I said I would do on all of those interviews that I have held; to do less, aah well, would be quite insane."

(You can actually listen to this clip here - link courtesy of Weinland Watch)

Insane? Well Ron, you said it! It seems the First Witness has been flailing about, attempting to move the goalposts back further ("end of July"), but Pentecost is the deadline that marks the edge of the cliff. As I understand the Weinland spiel it's a two-stage backdown: if the H-bombs haven't started dropping by the 8th he'll take himself off the speaking schedule; then at the end of July fess up to the sheep that he was an idiot and repent (anyone wanna run a sweepstakes on it?) In advance of Ron's lemming leap it seems some of the flock have been wising up and drifting off to greener pastures. Better late than never.

So, will Ronnie be true to his word? Will he do exactly what he's said he'll do and quit raking over the manure pile? To date he's done little more than bleat like a dysfunctional ten-year old about people "mocking" him, the blind critics who just can't see how things really are.

Diddums.

For Ron the game is already up even if he is "keeping up appearances", but he'll finally checkmate whatever remains of his own credibility on June 8. Ron nonetheless assures the faithful but dwindling remnant in last Sabbath's sermon that, come what may, COG-PKG - his designer cult - will survive.

That remains to be seen.

50 comments:

        AMERICAN KABUKI said...

8 days till beanie launch!

Mike (Don't Drink the Flavor Aid) said...

Actually he said he'd stop preaching if by Pentecost there clearly isn't lots of dead vegetation (1st Trumpet). And he'd announce that he's a false prophet if not lot's of death and destruction by the end of July (although his 45-90 days for "nukular" weapons in port cities or 2nd Trumpet ends on July 16).

That was his story on March 29. But last Saturday he changed his tune, saying the 1st Trumpet may not occur until after the 2nd Trumpet, although he says that it's started (but only in his fevered imagination).

Anonymous said...

Listen to Jesus, NOT Ronald Weinland

Like always, it is the little suckers who will be out their time and money. The self-appointed leader will have the money and be doing all right no matter how wrong he is about everything. Most likely, NOTHING Ronald Weinland says will EVER work out the way he says. He has already shown that he will continue to lie and string people along.

Instead of following wicked, lying false prophets like Ronald Weinland, people should consider following Jesus. Jesus warned that many false prophets would come and deceive many people. Now THAT prediction has certainly come true again and again and again!!!

THINK ABOUT IT.

Perhaps the most charitable thing that could be said about Ronald is that maybe he was just one of those many people who were doomed to fulfill the prophecy that many liars would come around. Perhaps he was "chosen" for this great purpose because of some lack of honesty and decency that was noticed in him.

Anonymous said...

I eexpect the moron, err... Ronnie Wineland, to start spinning like a top!

Anonymous said...

Herbert would be proud of Ronnie.
Now its time to pull a Herb-act.

1.The Church wasn't ready!
2.J.C. got the thunders out of sync.
3.I was ready but the second witness was doing her hair,(Dam women should have picked a man.)
4.Too many trumpets blowing at the same time, I guess I'll have to blow them myself these angels stated playing "when the saints go marching in".
5. She finally got her hair done but I have to start the count down after Pentecost. crap wish I had named a man and a bald one to.
6. J.C. decided to extend the GUN LAP so sell your house and send in the proceeds so I can get the church ready, don't be like Ananias and Sapphira you know what happened to them and you know the power I have.
7. I haven't took care of scum bags on Galvin's and other sites J.C. is holding back the thunders till I make them pay for mocking me, I'm doing this because I love them but they have to learn to respect me as the MAIN witness the CHIEF apostle THAT profit oops PROPHET, THE ELIJAH HAS COME, THE GREATEST YAAAAAAAAA.

Anonymous said...

I can imagine Ron on World of the Psychic (Ghostbusters II)

Peter Venkman: For your sake, I hope you're right.

Lussenheide said...

Someone pass this note along to Weinland (this trick has worked for a couple of false prophets in the past)....

"Oooops! ---We forgot that there is no year "zero", so that adds one year to our prediction."

Its a lame excuse, but it has worked for some in buying themselves one more year.

Bill Lussenheide, Menifee, CA USA

Corky said...

Another of the two witnesses? In case no one has ever noticed, the city and the temple were still there when the two witnesses did their thing (Rev. 11:1-2) and before it is trodden down by the Romans for 3 1/2 years or forty and two months or 1260 days. The exact length of time from the beginning of the siege on Jerusalem until August of AD70.

Anonymous said...

Pardon me if I'm a little crude here. Ron Weinland needs to stop preaching NOW--this is instant---just stop it---PERIOD! He needs to get off his fat, tithe-pampered, lazy royal ass and get a real job like the rest of us folks here. Didn't hurt any body. He needs to get out of the wagon and help push a long with everybody else!

Anonymous said...

Somone said:

" maybe he was just one of those many people who were doomed to fulfill the prophecy that many liars would come around. Perhaps he was "chosen" for this great purpose because of some lack of honesty and decency that was noticed in him."

Naw, that takes away his own responsibility for getting himself into this mindset. God may have hardened Pharoah's heart in the Exodus tale, but God was out of town when Ron came up with this one.

This fiasco is based on a man's false impression of himself. Once a man sees himself spoken of in the scriptures, he's pretty much going to make an ass out of himself. Dave Pack and Gerald Flurry are next.

There are not enough Biblically bad prophetic jobs for all the humans who lack basic honesty and decency to apply for.

If he stops his ministry after Pentecost, I think he's counting on his loyal troops to talk him out of it, and then play the "see I am really this honest," card to regroup.

Corky said...

If he stops his ministry after Pentecost, I think he's counting on his loyal troops to talk him out of it, and then play the "see I am really this honest," card to regroup.

Not to worry, he had already figured out ahead of time what to say when his prophecies fail. We're not dealing with amateurs here - these are professional con-men.

Byker Bob said...

Do any of these aspiring witnesses realize the serious world of hurt that the real two witnesses are going to be in??? It seems like somebody is into titles and self aggrandizement, and doing books and TV and radio interviews, and doesn't realize that the two witnesses are going to go through the same torture and martyrdom that Jesus and the apostles were put through when they were preaching the gospel!

Being either one of these two witnesses is going to be very painful and fatal!

That would be being kind, and assuming sincerity. OTOH, if you fake being one of the two witnesses, then you are messing with God! So, being wrong, and recognized by man as being a false prophet, or charlatan, needing to make an embarrassing retreat and having your little empire dissolve is a relatively small part of your problem. Basically, it means that you've become one of Satan's counterfeits, and are working against God, making a mockery of God's reality!

So, I have to ask myself, do such people actually even believe in God? It would certainly explain their apparent total lack of fear if they didn't.

I don't believe God is amused at all by fake witnesses, false prophets, self-ordained apostles, or people claiming to be Elijah or Elisha. This is not Tom Sawyer that they are play acting!

BB

Anonymous said...

" If by Pentecost it is not powerfully and abundantly clear that there has been a great deal of destruction that will clearly encompass a third of all plant life in the US and at least the clear results of this mingled with blood the death of very much animal life and the beginning of large numbers of human life then I will stop preaching."

Ronny, since you are going to need a new career, I suggest you team up with "MISTER" pack, and start a used car business. Seems used car salesmen have a great talent for lies and deception!

Anonymous said...

Did I mention Tom Mahon is full of shit?

Anonymous said...

Ron you are a clown. You have turned your infantile organization into a carnival sideshow. Poor pathetic man. Take your beanie and go fly off into the sunset. The gig is up. Now be true to your word and get the hell out.

Anonymous said...

"3.I was ready but the second witness was doing her hair,(Dam women should have picked a man.)

No woman would want to be caught on camera for all the world to see dressed in sackcloth and ashes.

That was a clue right away the Ron was speaking through his beanie.

Anonymous said...

No woman would want to be caught on camera for all the world to see dressed in sackcloth and ashes.

Unless she looked like Angelina Jolie :)

Anonymous said...

According to one study, every time a person lies, he or she physically damages their own brain.

It would be useful to have a cat scan before and after the false prophet makes his predictions to ascertain dogmatically how much damage he has done to himself.

It would stand as a witness to those others who would seek to do the same.

Anonymous said...

"just cal me "mister" said...
Did I mention Tom Mahon is full of shit?"

MY COMMENT - Well, I think that's true, but we still haven't seen Tom's picture which he promised he'd post to confirm the fact that he's full of manure. Maybe that's why Tom won't post his picture - he's full of you know what..

Richard

Anonymous said...

This whole Weinland saga is so sad and embarrassing to watch. I feel bad for the dumb sheep listening to Weinland's delusional sermons and giving their money to him so he can travel to Jerusalem and around the world spreading this "final warning".

I am not totally sure I believe in the two witnesses of Revelation. But if it is true, it will be so obvious by the work that they do that there will be know doubt in anyone's minds who they are because THE WHOLE WORLD WILL SEE IT. Nobody has heard of Ron Wienland, just like most people in the world have never heard of "God's end time Apostle" Herbert W. Armstrong. In this regard, I would agree with Byker Bob's statement about the two witnesses.

If these men are of God - HWA and Weinland - then why is God giving such a weak and ineffective witness to this world?

Richard

Anonymous said...

Didn't Dennis quote some verses from Paul to the effect that God gives homosexuality to some people as a punishment for disobedience?

Maybe these false prophets will find themselves (to their horror!) "going gay".

Robert said...

As one person commented some time ago on this person, "Ron has lost the plot".

When the two witnesses are performing this final ministry, there is not going to be any doubt. The third Temple will have been rebuilt, animal sacrifices would have taken place again and a "world leader" will be on the stage performing counterfeit miracles with the false prophet.

We still have a lot of time yet so Mr Weinland is wrong in his beliefs (no matter how sincere he may be).

The world economy needs to completely collapse bringing in a one world currency.

Satan needs to completely bankrupt this world before people will be willing to accept a world government with one single currency. Power is changing from west to east.

It is clear when you watch all the news reports that the East will be the next powerful economic block (Russia, China, Asia, India).

Do we really want countries like China (who have bought up assets in the UK) to have power over us? A country with an appalling human rights record. What happens when one day relations are not so good?

Anonymous said...

A bit of follow up:

Both Ezekiel and Jeremiah refer to Yahweh's rivals as "shit gods."

Jer 50:2 Ez 22:3-4 Shit gods were called "gilulim." It appears that the negative and derogatory associations of the word come from its similarity to the words "gel" and "galal" both of which mean "dung" Thus these annoying gods were "dung or shit pellets." As are some annoying humans

This will be on the final.

Weinland Watch said...

"We're not dealing with amateurs here - these are professional con-men."

Plan B, by all accounts, will be going ahead as first discussed, with the modification that the China and Myanmar quakes are now to be taken as proof of the 1st Trumpet.

(This is 100% contrary to both books, which state quite clearly the first trumpet was supposed to have taken place in the Anglo-Israelite nations: US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and parts of Western Europe.)

Just in case anyone thinks Gavin, or J, or Mike, or Seeker of Truth, or I, am making up, altering, or otherwise distorting the "if by Pentecost" quote, you can listen to Rotten Ron promise to stop preaching "if by Pentecost" for yourself, right here.

Richard said...

I heard a sermon on radio today, that may preview some additional "outs" for Ronald Weinland.

It was Doug Batchelor of the SDA's talking at length about Ellen White, and what might be called "prophetic apologetics."

He noted the Bible has several cases where people labeled as "prophets" made incorrect statements. Such as Samuel's conclusion about the first child, before David came along -- or Miriam challenging the authority of Moses.

He also said God makes some prophetic utterances conditional. He cited Jonah's warning to Nineveh for this -- but from what I read, no condition was ever mentioned by Jonah; God did it on His own after the people repented.

Anonymous said...

It's always interesting that men make predictions and prophecies or declare when such are coming to pass while the events of the world just keep spinning on. The prophets adjust to the flow of time and events, collect money and then die. And events just keep spinning along as usual.

Sadly and of course, when one notes this, there is the scoffer defense of "my lord delays his coming." Then we learn that time and spinning to God is not the same as to us.

If that doesn't stop the scoffing or noting that the prophet is incorrect, we get to rejoice that "God is giving us more time."

And events just keep spinning

Is "I lived my whole life 'just around the corner'" what one really wants?

Mike (Don't Drink the Flavor Aid) said...

Gavin, I'm wondering how you're doing, health-wise. In this week's sermon, the propeller-hat wearer said: "some of you yo-yos who like to attack and distort and twist things... And by the way I want to mention that your progression of I said would start on you is already progressing more and some of you already know it. I know of one individual specifically here not too long ago -- a little worried about their health There are several of you out there that should be worried about your health. You think it's just coincidence??? Amazing."

Feeling anything yet, Gavin? ;)

Anonymous said...

I find it humorous that propeller-hat wearer, otherwise known as "The Nut with the Beanie on top" has the gaul to refer to his critics as yo-yos!

No goof ball, your the yo-yo, and I am taking you up on your word to quit in less then 7 days.

Lets see if you have the balls....er the propeller to do it!

Anonymous said...

RW: "There are several of you out there that should be worried about your health. You think it's just coincidence??? Amazing."

Unfortunately this is the SAME mindset that his congregation has.
And this is the SAME mindset he wants to CULTIVATE amongst his newer recruits as well. This is what RW refers to as the "Godly way of thinking."
It's disgusting!

Anonymous said...

Hey Ron, is it true that you won't let the misses touch your beanie?????

        AMERICAN KABUKI said...

the propeller-hat wearer said:

"some of you yo-yos who like to attack and distort and twist things... And by the way I want to mention that your progression of I said would start on you is already progressing more and some of you already know it.

I know of one individual specifically here not too long ago -- a little worried about their health. There are several of you out there that should be worried about your health. You think it's just coincidence??? Amazing."



I'm confused, is he a Wit-ness or a Wit-ch doctor?

Anonymous said...

propeller evny said...
"Hey Ron, is it true that you won't let the misses touch your beanie?????"

No, truly truly, that is not true. She is not permitted to spin my propellar however.

Anonymous said...

Ron has found his new career!

He has gone from Witness to Shaman.

Thats right, Shaman Ron with the Beanie on Top. I understand he has already put in an order for 278 Dolls and and order for 20,000 pins.

Look out enemies!!

Anonymous said...

Gavin, I am worried about your health. Have you experienced any sharp pains lately? This Shaman thing has me on pins and needles.

Content Former Member said...

Why give this nutcase the time of day?

Weinland's flock will have to work things through like the rest of us and they'll be better for it. No short cuts. They are where they are because it's necessary for their growth. The same fresh air's waiting for them at the lighted end of the same tunnel we all shared for a while. It's an interesting ride, by no means a total waste.

The really unfortunate ones are Weinland and his wife. Maybe they'll snap out of it like Jerusalem-syndrome tourists who get caught up in temporary prophetic delusions, and then Poof! they're normal again. Weinland will need a facelift, a new name, new language, new career, different country.

Poor sap.

Anonymous said...

Ron W promised:

"If by Pentecost I'm just going to make this real clear to everyone. If by Pentecost it is not powerfully and abundantly clear that there has been..... then I will stop preaching."

Ron W. promised on May 31st

"You can download a copy of "2008 God's Final (ok semi final) Witness." book beginning Monday, but it might take a month to get things going."

Isn't that a bit like seriously ordering an old copy of 1975 in prophecy to see what the future holds?

Ron is also saying that "everything about Prophecy is different than he thought."

No not really Ron. It's working out as it always has when men predict the future as God's Chosen.
You're just finally catching on.

"God is giving us more time..." is next.

Ron is into a major waffle to keep himself in power. Ron uses "we thought," when he really means. "I thought."

Ron, in his sermon, he is beginning to read his own book as if he was not the author.

Anonymous said...

Anybody know Ron's views about pissing against a wall? I know it may be trite, but it very well may have profound inplications as to whether can function with or without his beanie.

Anonymous said...

With friends like Weinland, who needs enemas? (does the Bible say anything about doing that against the wall?)

DennisDiehl said...

Feb 12, 2008


When the clock runs out…

1. I never said Jesus would return then. I said he “could” return.

2. God has given us more time to finish the Work.

3. Satan has blinded your mind. We never said that.

4. We said it, but we didn’t mean it the way you took it.

5. Satan confused your mind to make you think we said that, but we didn’t. We said something else and now I’m not going to tell you what I really said. You should have listened right the first time.

6. I only meant my books would go into a second printing and return to a bookstore near you.

7. I made a mistake,but so did Moses, David, the Disciples and Paul, and they were all men after God’s own heart. So there.

I'm currently doing better with prophecy than Mr. Waffles..

Anonymous said...

I guess I'm a Yo Yo said...
"Anybody know Ron's views about pissing against a wall? I know it may be trite, but it very well may have profound inplications as to whether can function with or without his beanie".

MY COMMENT - Are you suggesting that Ron Weinland can't piss and chew gum at the same time?

Richard

Anonymous said...

It's Always Something:

From Wikpedia - Shaman and Shamanism refers to a range of traditional beliefs and practices concerned with communication with the spirit world. There are many variations of shamanism throughout the world, though there are some beliefs that are shared by all forms of shamanism:

The spirits can play important roles in human lives.

The shaman can control and/or cooperate with the spirits for the community's benefit.

The spirits can be either good or bad.

Shamans engage various processes and techniques to incite trance; such as: singing, dancing, taking entheogens, meditating and drumming.

Animals play an important role, acting as omens and message-bearers, as well as representations of animal spirit guides.

The shaman's spirit leaves the body and enters into the supernatural world during certain tasks.

The shamans can treat illnesses or sickness; they are healers.
Shamans have the ability to diagnose and cure human suffering and, in some societies, the ability to cause suffering. This is believed to be accomplished by traversing the axis mundi and forming a special relationship with, or gaining control over, spirits. Shamans have been credited with the ability to control the weather, divination, the interpretation of dreams, astral projection, and traveling to upper and lower worlds. Shamanistic traditions have existed throughout the world since prehistoric times.

Some anthropologists and religious scholars define a shaman as an intermediary between the natural and spiritual world, who travels between worlds in a state of trance. Once in the spirit world, the shaman would commune with the spirits for assistance in healing, hunting or weather management. Ripinsky-Naxon describes shamans as, “People who have a strong interest in their surrounding environment and the society of which they are a part.”

Other anthropologists critique the term "shamanism", arguing that it is a culturally specific word and institution and that by expanding it to fit any healer from any traditional society it produces a false unity between these cultures and creates a false idea of an initial human religion predating all others. However, some others say that these anthropologists simply fail to recognize the commonalities between otherwise diverse traditional societies.

Shamanism is based on the premise that the visible world is pervaded by invisible forces or spirits that affect the lives of the living. In contrast to animism and animatism, which any and usually all members of a society practice, shamanism requires specialized knowledge or abilities. It could be said that shamans are the experts employed by animists and animist communities. Shamans are often organized into full-time ritual or spiritual associations, like priests. In Indian culture as well there are those who are called tantrics and are said to have the power to control spirits and force them to do their bidding. People often visit them for many reasons but most often it is to ensure the spirit's aid in their work or to curse someone who they feel is an enemy of theirs or opposes them.

Well, Its always something!

Rosana Rosana Dana

Anonymous said...

Dear Rosana, I throughly enjoyed your post even though I cannot grasp parts of it like traversing the axis mundi. However I believe that the disertation reflects the attributes of Mr. Beanie Man.

It is lacking in one area in that it does not address the notion of urinating against walls. I found this most disturbing.

Anonymous said...

RD What's all this talk about Shamans? Ron Weinland is a no Shaman! Shamans are.....

Me: Rosanna, Rosanna Dana! The word is "Shame On" ...not Shaman...

RD: Oh? Shame on Ron W?

Me: Yes, it's not Shaman, it's "Shame on" as in "Shame on me"

RD Oh? Nevermind! :)

Anonymous said...

Rosanna, Rossana Dana! Now-ah you make-ah my heart bubble. You-ah was da firsta one dat bought my-ah Pope on a Rope! What-ah fine memories I have-ah of you!

Tell-ah da Virgin Mary she-ah still owes me for-ah da "I saw da Pope on TV" lapel pin! Justa cause she isa da Virgin Mary, doowna mean she can-ah not put da money ina da collection!

And I-ah meana dat.

Anonymous said...

Baseball been berry berry good to me.

Religion business been good to Dave Pack, Juan Rhineland and Ramrod Merrydeath. But, Religion business been berry berry berry good to Herbert W. Armstrong. Berry good to Mr. Armstrong!!

Women been berry berry good to Gardener Fred Armstrong, and Gardener Fred Armstrong been berry berry good to women.

Alcohol been berry berry good to Gerald Flurry.

Baptism tour not berry good for Richard Armstrong.

Dee been berry berry good to Clyde Kilough, and Clyde Kilough been berry berry good to Dee.

Tammy been berry berry good to little Joey Tkach, but first wife not been berry good to Tkach.

Loma been berry berry good to Herbert Armstrong, but Ramona not been berry good to Armstrong.

Gerald Waterhouse 4 hour sermons been not berry berry good for church children.

Mark Armstrong been berry berry good to his dad. Mark Armstrong dads' old videos and TV shows been berry berry good to Mark Armstrong.

Robert Thiel been berry berry good to MerryDeath. And, Kscribe been berry berry good to Mr. Armstrong.

False prophecy been berry berry good to Ron Weinland.

Gifting Big Sandy campus to the Worldwide Church of God not berry berry good to the Hammer family.

Sale of Church assets been berry berry berry good to that little turd Joey Tkach. Berry Good!!

Tom Mahon and Robert Taylor been berry good to Mr. Armstrong. Photo of Tom Mahon not been good.

But, religion business and all the dumb sheep been berry, berry, berry good to Mr. Armstrong and Mr. Tkach.

Baseball been berry berry good to me.

Chico Escuela

Anonymous said...

By the way did I mention Tom Mahon is full of shit?

Anonymous said...

Daryl, the same can be said of "The Nut with the Beanie on top"

Anonymous said...

Chico Escuela,

Thank you for giving the Ambassador Watch website a brief synopsis of the history of Gad's Church in modern times.

Jane "not an ignorant slut" Curtin

Anonymous said...

Ron, you ignorant slut!

Ghost of Belushi said...

Don't be so hard on dear Ronnie!

Ronnie vents his frustrations to God:

"I didn't ask to be a prophet, a witness, an apostle ... But this is all You came up with for me. DO YOU THINK I LIKE THIS? No, no, God, I didn't have any choice ... I'm just an actor looking for a break, that's all! What do you WANT from me! God, Yahweh! What did you expect? PROPHETIC ACCURACY?"

Clearly, Ronnie is feeling a bit stung...