The Two Witnesses are now revealed. We knew number one was Ronnie, for he told us so. Now, confirming all the pundits' speculations, we learn that number two is Ron's lovely but long-suffering wife, Laura. Surprise!
As someone has already pointed out, Johnny Harrell must be gutted - upstaged by a woman! Aren't the "little ladies" in "Wiener World" supposed to keep silent? A woman as the second Witness? Now there's a turn-up for the books. Could this be the End... of COG misogyny?
Fat chance. But maybe there's another reason Ron is keeping it "in the family."
Ron's credibility tank is almost on empty... even Johnny must be having secret doubts. The manipulation is going to be harder to get away with as each day brings further disconfirmation. The tithe dollars will be drying up as we speak.
But the real question now is how much money did Weinland bleed from vulnerable, credulous people in the last 12 - 24 months? If the game is up - and it is, despite the desperate posturing - the next question is will Ron and helpmate Laura give back the money?
Not likely! Ron has an exit strategy. Apologize, admit that he got it wrong, walk away.
That's exactly what he's said he'll do. I believe him.
Walk away with money in the bank.
It has been, I suspect, a brilliant short term fund-raiser for Ron and Laura's retirement.
Please note, I'm not suggesting anything illegal. Ronnie is far too clever for that. In fact, that's the tip-off: he doesn't come across as a raving loon. Ron is more calculating. He'll probably even put on a good show of genuine regret for his sincere excesses.
But I wonder whether after that, sufficiently "humbled" but cash-rich, Ron will then fade away in obscurity to a distant but sunny spot with a very nice home in a gated community, vehicles and golf club membership.
A case of "so-long suckers!"?
41 comments:
Just came out of my underground bunker,Whew USA still in tack,except for a small 5.2 earthquake. Everyone must have repented for Ronnie the Terrible has turned into Ronnie the Merciful
or the church wasn't ready, or maybe he didn't figure in Nebuchadnezzar II 7 years of madness or maybe he like Gerald Waterhouse full of bullshit. heehaw
NEWS FLASH!---
Ron and Laura Weinland are going to begin a cross country "Two Witnessing Tour" across the USA.
They will be traveling in their newly acquired SUV/Motorhome (PIC HERE)...
http://wpr.org/news/images/wmobile03.jpg
(Copy URL link and paste into browser and then press Enter)
Make sure you honk and wave when you see them on an Interstate near you soon!
Bill Lussenheide, Menifee, CA USA
What is with this thiong?
http://herbertwarmstrongporno.blogspot.com/2008/04/herbert-w-armstrong-porno.html#links
http://herbertwarmstrongporno.
blogspot.com/
I think it will work,
Gavin opined...
"But I wonder whether after that, sufficiently "humbled" but cash-rich, Ron will then fade away in obscurity to a distant but sunny spot with a very nice home in a gated community, vehicles and golf club membership.
A case of "so-long suckers!"?"
Ron learned from the best. The "Honey I shrunk the Church of God Quintuplet
Joe Tkach Jr on the Pan Pipe
Mike Feazell on violin
Bernie Schnippert, Dan Rogers and Greg Albrecht on Kazoo.
They mostly play together shipboard, in Fall, and are best known for their number one hit, "Cruising With Jesus While Trolling for Dollars."
One can be reckless with the spiritual hopes and dreams of real people, but brilliantly adept when it comes to finding a way to keep the money those same people sent in good faith that you did not earn and have no right to keep.
Dave Pack is coldly calculated at this to. His original "send it in" was over finishing the work and preaching the stupendous, "I'm going to train the Two Witnesses, time is short gospel He now has the gall to turn right around use that money to build a headquarters, campus, auditorium and basketball courts, no doubt.
I have to say, the sincere people who still follow these theological Brothers Grimm have excrement for neurological connections.
Happy Night to be Much Observed, or Remembered...I forget.
"And if thou say in thine heart, How shall we know the word which the Lord hath not spoken? When a prophet speaketh in the name of the Lord, if the thing follow not, nor come to pass, that is the thing which the Lord hath not spoken." Dt.18:22
In other words, if a prophet claims to speak from God and what he says does not happen exactly how its been told then God did not send it.
Luss...Have I been such a short time with thee that thou knowest not that God wants us to have quality and set the right godly example for the World Tomorrow?
I think we agree the time for a Falcon Fan Jet and G-II,III or IV are over. BUT..One must set the right example whilst abiding sackcloth. After all...
"Rev 11:6 These MEN (Ok, 'This couple') have power to shut up the sky... and to strike the earth with every kind of plague as often as they want," and you just can't be seen in just any old thing.
http://gorvtexas.com/featherlite.htm
Again, was it live or was it Memorex?
To be a false prophet, I'm thinking one must either be seriously deluded, which would make one perhaps sincere but wrong, or one would have to believe that God simply doesn't exist, so that there is no accountability for false prophets.
Seeing as he aspires to be a biblical character, if we hold the Weiner dude to the same standards as Moses, or Jesus Christ, RW fails miserably. Surprise, surprise, surprise!
BB
Wow! Dennis, If GTA were still alive he definitely would have one of these mobile massage parlor's
Massage Parlor: 1. An establishment that offers therapeutic massage. 2. An establishment that offers illicit sexual services under the guise of therapeutic massage.
http://gorvtexas.com/featherlite.htm
Let me get this straight. If one claims the bible to be their source of information, how can one blatantly contradict it, and be credible.
The bible says the 2 witnesses are Men. Either Laura has had a sex change operation or her real name is Larry.
Hell, Bill and Hillery might as well be the witnesses.
I really think Witless Ronnie ment they were Jahova Witnesees not the 2 of the bible.
No matter how you look at it, witless Ronnie is NUTS.
One small point. Nutty Buddy Ronnie said the Pope woud be 'Very" angry with him. Why?
I'm working off my WCG ministerial Karma by rubbing people the right way for a change. The Karma Fairy told me that after 1335 days, each day for a day, I would be clean again. I have been WCG Karma Free now for time, times, times again and a half a time (5.5 earth years.) The KF told me I was now clear in this matter.
:)
Anonymous said...
"Let me get this straight. If one claims the bible to be their source of information, how can one blatantly contradict it, and be credible.
The bible says the 2 witnesses are Men."
Actually, it doesn't. They are referred to as "they" and "them" but never by gender.
PS
http://freethinktherapy.com/Home_Page.html
Just wait a minute!
Or, 45 to 90 days, before we pass judgment.
Heck, we haven't even heard his Sabbath sermon yet.
Let's see...10% of all of Ronnies' followers' money for the next 90 days equals...KA-CHING!
And maybe there was even a misplaced decimal(450 to 900 days?), or even worse, "pronoun trouble", in how he heard the prophecies.
If there's anyone we should not be hard on, it's a Prophet of God! Who are we to question? Especially when it's the Wiener-Prophet.
Don't be hard-on the Wiener-Prophet!
Now, please be good little Philadelphian "cocktail sausages" and believe in your Wiener-Prophet.
You don't want to end up like Laodicean "little smokies" who lost their end-time protection, do you?
This is the kind of gated community where Ron should live.
Lussenheide...you slay me in the spirit and the flesh....ROTFL!!!
The Last Trumpet has been replaced by a wiener whistle!
Ron’s wife can’t be the second witness because the two of them make only one…….
"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
They are referred to as "they" and "them" but never by gender.
True, except I believe the Greek grammatical gender of "witnesses" and "prophets" indicates they are males.
Of course one must remember that Rev. 11 is recounted as a vision, so that even if the vision speaks of two men, the men aren't necessarily to be taken as two actual men, but could be intended to be representative of something else.
"And I will give [power] unto my two witnesses, and they shall prophesy a thousand two hundred [and] threescore days, clothed in sackcloth."
Clothed 1260 days in sackcloth. Have the Weinlands begun wearing their new wardrobe?
I still say ronnie has has had one too many Twinkies.
Don't forget! The visions of Revelation might very well have been helped along a little via liberal application of kaneh bosn.
"And they that dwell upon the earth shall rejoice over them, and make merry, and shall send gifts one to another; because these two prophets tormented them that dwelt on the earth."
Well if Larry er....Laura is one of the two witnesses, she is also concidered a prophet. By what merit does Ronnie make her a prophet? While were at it, by what merit does ronnie make himself a prophet?
Self delusion and mental instability are serious clinical issues that should be addressed. Unfortunately, Ron has influence over a large following. Tom is a tipical example of such a poor deluced soul.
Ron and Laura cannot be the two witnesses:
1) Neither of them has graduated from the Dave Pack University of Witnesses.
2) Secondly, they don't attend the Restored Church of God.
This proves without a shadow of a doubt, that they art utter frauds.
Third reason:
The Pope has no idea who the hell they are.
Jared Olar said: True, except I believe the Greek grammatical gender of "witnesses" and "prophets" indicates they are males.
I'm certainly no language expert, just some high school Spanish which also has gendered nouns.
In the Greek, what is the gender of the noun for a plural group of women? What is the gender of the noun if it's a plural group of both men and women?
Any Greek experts here? Gavin?
Maybe Rotten Ronnie will give an entire sermon on how his critics are so misinformed because we don't understand Greek. And yet there's so much other stuff for which he could be hung.
Laura is pretty cute, she may set a new fashion in sack cloth. I don't know about Ron, if we have to shave our heads like Yul Brenner, it may not catch on for men.
The account of the two witnesses is in Revelation 11. No mention of "male and female made He them".
It is disappointing, but not unexpected. One would have thought that someone here would be one of the two witnesses, but then, it's unlikely since no one could expect a person to play second fiddle in close harmony to Uncle Ron. Everybody's the second witness these days. Maybe there is no first witness after all.
Disappearing comments
What I just found is that apparently the software has changed. If you do a Preview and go to the bottom of the list to "Publish Your Comment", it seems to disappear now. It doesn't get published and you may note the [!] URL contains illegal characters with (optional) in the URL field.
If you go back up to the Leave your comment area to use "Publish Your Comment", then it works.
Beware, the software gremlins of Yahoo will get you -- yet another gift -- as the Microsoft gristmill grinds down competitors with hostile takeovers. Or, as is more likely, software has gotten so bloody complicated that nobody can be competent any more.
And beware: This isn't the only blog having this problem.
Is anyone an animal communicator on this blog? What should I do?
It is getting annoying and embarrasing - My parrot keeps blurting out loudly:
Bawk! Bawk!
Weinland's a fraud! Weinland's a fraud!
Bawk! Bawk!
Weinland's a fraud! Weinland's a fraud!
Just imagine the grief of the Pharisees and Sadducees during the time of Jesus. Certainly many of them probably assumed that they were doing God's work, and then were compelled to helplessly watch, as total outsiders, the greatest event in the history of mankind!
Basically, this is the plight of the leaders of the Armstrong movement. Assuming they are still alive if the visions of Revelation begin to unfold, they will be watching helplessly and jealously as others do the work which they themselves so covet.
As far as the timeline goes, I really wish the events had taken place during the late '50s. It would have been a gas if the two witnesses had been Chuck Berry and Bo Diddley, and they had driven around Israel in a Corvette spreading the message through rock n roll! HWA would have suffered apoplectic seizure!
BB
Gavin said, "It has been, I suspect, a brilliant short term fund-raiser for Ron and Laura's retirement".
MY COMMENT - Gavin, I don't think you are giving enough credit where credit is due. This Weinland husband and wife final two witness scam is MAGNIFICENTLY BRILLIANT when compared to all other Armstrongist end time scams.
In Herbert Armstrong's scam, he kept pulling the rug out from under the members for decades changing dates and always reminding us time is short while building the AC campuses. His scam produced 50 years of a secure income stream that most of us here on AW cannot even fathom the size of his income stream.
Armstrong dined with the classes by lying to the masses. It is a dirty little secret in America that financial fraud (and religious financial fraud) pays. Every other copycat Armstrongist sect - Flurry, Packatollah, Merrydeath, etc. has taken the same Armstrong business model and applied it to their own religious fraud businesses - on a much smaller scale of course since Armstrongism is a shrinking market!
But, the Weinland fraud is a different business model - he set a deadline and tells everyone publicly that he is a false profit (oops, I mean false prophet) if his prophecies don't come true in the timeframe he has announced. He puts the money he scams from the suckers (oops, I mean the faithful god fearing tithe payers) into lawsuit insulated family LLPs (remember, the wife is a partner) and asset protected retirement accounts. Then strolls into a golden retirement laughing at the suckers who financed their golden retirement scheme and live out their lives without any financial woes (pun intended) for the rest of their lives.
His LLP can even make money by selling or franchising the copyrights to his books - all future copycat "final witnesses" have to do is change the date on the title of the book, and edit some of the facts being used to scare people into sending in their money.
This is a magnificently brilliant twist to the Armstrong scam!
Unlike Armstrong who dined with the world's elite because he was the best of the best of con men, the Weinlands will have lied to the masses, and dined with only the middle classes in comfort for the rest of their days.
Richard
Which business model, by the way, is the one which psychopaths use.
Dennis and all:
You have struck my purient notice a tad!
What the heck is this thing that is advertised as "couples massage therapy" that is advertised on your website?
May I dare also to inquire,(in all sincerity and without ridicule) ... is it kinda weird giving women massages, especially when all they have on is a towel? or just it just become "another day,another job" sort of like the gynecologist?
Inquiring minds need to know.
Luv
Bill Lussenheide, Menifee, CA USA
"It is getting annoying and embarrassing - My parrot keeps blurting out loudly:
Bawk! Bawk!
Weinland's a fraud! Weinland's a fraud!
Bawk! Bawk!
Weinland's a fraud! Weinland's a fraud!"
Well then, what does it have to say about WCG and the splinters?
Mr. Ed
Mr. Ed asked, "Well then, what does it have to say about WCG and the splinters?"
My Parrot Answers:
Bawk! Bawk!
Herbert's a pervert! Herbert's a pervert!
Bawk! Bawk!
In bed with Garner Ted! In bed with Garner Ted!
Bawk! Bawk!
Wilbur
I think that after this Weinland thing is over I'm gonna leave you all and throw myself into learning German or Spanish or American Sign Language.
If memory serves others have tried to quit the AW type of sites, but still keep coming back.
So when will the Weinland thing be over, 3 1/2 years from now or when the Weinlands in June say that they were fooled by others?
Or right after the Weinland thing will something else come up.I hope not because I want to throw myself into German or Spanish or ASL.
So when will the Weinland thing be over, 3 1/2 years from now or when the Weinlands in June say that they were fooled by others?
The Weinland thing will not be over in June. It will not be over in 3 1/2 years. It will never be over. Rotten Ronnie will always be able to explain it away (it's spiritual) to his followers.
The Weinland thing is a continuation of the HWA thing. After their deaths, someone will take up the mantle in their name just like Weinland is doing in HWA's name.
I Know. I'll try to do German or Spanish or Sign Language AND the AW type of sites.
"What the heck is this thing that is advertised as "couples massage therapy" that is advertised on your website?
May I dare also to inquire,(in all sincerity and without ridicule) ... is it kinda weird giving women massages, especially when all they have on is a towel? or just it just become "another day,another job" sort of like the gynecologist?"
Inquiring minds need to know.
Luv
Bill Lussenheide, Menifee, CA USA
Hi Bill, Nooooo problem. I love good questions!
Couples massage is where I teach one to give the other safe and not ruin the relationship massage. One good pass down the spinous processes andthe marriage is over!
I quietly take the one through a session so the one on the table gets massage from two people. Then we switch. Takes about two hours. Very nice, and more fun than going to spokesman club.
Massage is done with appropriate draping to the clients comfort level and mine if nothing else. It's all very normal and natural to me and always has been even back whenever. Maybe the Dutchman in me.
I have done therapeutic touch on thousands of different kinds of people and bodies. It's about making people feel safe, appreciated and well taken care with touch either for relaxation or a screaming headache or injury.
It's really amazing to me the trust people put in me after just calling over the phone. Some have said I sound kind on the phone and answer all their quesitons and that's why they came in.
I have no agenda, no ulterior motives and my clients know that. Massage is personal. No way around that, but it's about caretaking. Caretaking is what I do best.
While not the forum for such things, I am very comfortable with people. Most who come for massage are more open minded types in all their life beliefs, though I do have that occasional student or faculty memeber from a not to be named very right wing religious college in town come in where if found out, would suffer the consequences. I have many stories, none of which I intend to share ever !
Bill, if you wish any more specific answers,drop me a note at my email. My partner, Angie, is also a MT working fulltime elsewhere and we both agree on the philosophy of massage, jealousy is not part of it and it's all ok. She has a cult following. I have clients..ha.
In WCG if you met with a woman alone, you could get fired. I hated it because the lives of others were not the business of the deacons and elders either. Sometimes I fudged and we met at McDonalds, but that was not allowed either.
Now women (men) call me, we lower the lights, turn up the music, run a fountain, they get na..., under the sheet or towel, I touch 90% of them and either do life counseling or am slam shut mouthed so they can relax quietly, and they pay me!
God is good. Karma has repaid me in full for years as a minister! ha.
Too much information I know. You'll find me a very open person and I am not the same, or maybe I am, person I was when boxed in WCG doing and being what I thought was right at the time.
ROTTEN RONNIE WINELAND,
Professional con-artist
1. In a poorly executed con job, the perpetrators get exposed for what they are and go to jail.
2. In a better con job, the perpetrators eventually appear for what they are, but the victims have no legal recourse.
3. In a professionally done con job, the victims don't even realise that they are victims. They think that everyone just sincerely did their best, but that it just did not work out.
___________________________________
I wonder how many of Rotten Ronnie's suckers (and that is exactly what they are!) will be interested in the Bible and the things of God after they realise that they have just been conned out of their money? Perhaps the type of people who followed him are really only interested in hearing ridiculous prophetic lies anyway. It seems possible that they would not be interested in any true Biblical teachings, unless they are also accompanied by great nonsense.
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