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Saturday 17 February 2007

BI's Kindred Fantasies


The year is 1862, and the Angel Gabriel appears in New Zealand to a seer named Te Ua Haumene, revealing that Maori are one of the Lost Tribes of Israel. Haumene goes on to found the Pai Marire ("Good and Peaceful") religion, from which the violent Hauhau would emerge. The sect took arms against the British and adopted the Seventh-day Sabbath.

"The cry Hapa, hapa, paimarire hau, which gave the sect its name, was chanted by the warriors as they ran into battle with their right hands raised. This, they believed, gave them immunity from bullets." (source)

It was not to prove an effective strategy.

Earlier, the first interfering Anglican cleric to arrive on these shores, Samuel Marsden, mused that Maori had “sprung from some dispersed Jews.” It is not altogether clear whether he intended the remark in a complimentary sense.

In the Solomon Islands of Melanesia, inhabitants of Malaita Island also believe they are Israelites. In the recent civil war the Malaita Eagle Force (second picture) adopted the Star of David to emphasise their supposed heritage. The first European to set foot in the Solomons, Alvaro de Mendana, believed – with what reason is unknown – that this benighted spot was the site of King Solomon's Mines (hence the name.)

The Malaitans find convincing parallels between their tribal culture and the tales of the Hebrew Bible. Many believe that there is a lost Israelite Temple hidden in a shrine at the mountainous heart of the island. Others want to rebuild Solomon's Temple – there are two competing sites for the great project. Championing one is a “prophet” (and failed politician) with ties to American fundamentalist groups in Israel.

The vilest of Ugandan bandit groups, the “Lord's Resistance Army”, infamous for recruiting and brutalising children in its campaign of terror, has similar “neo-Israelite” origins.

Back in the Pacific, the Bine tribe of Papua New Guinea have also discovered their Israelite identity. When the helpful missionaries translated the scriptures into the Bine language as recently as 1972, the locals quickly became convinced that they were the subject of the ancient epics. No lesser person than the Govenor General (head of state) of PNG launched a book (more of a booklet really, it runs to only 20 pages) earlier this month by Samuel Were called Bine Mene: Connecting the Hebrews.

And in the currently not-so Friendly Islands of Fiji there's a local myth about Kaunitoni, a boat that brought the first Fijians. They were in fact Israelites who had wandered there via Lake Tanganyika!

That the history and scripture of the Jewish people have been stolen, appropriated, misused, and abused for so long and by so many is one of the tragedies of both religion and literature.

(I'm indebted to Michael Field's article, The Last Outpost of the Diaspora, appearing in today's Wellington Dominion Post, for much of the above.)

21 comments:

        AMERICAN KABUKI said...

Some Hawaiians claim connections to ancient Egypt, and that some of their healing modalities originate from Egyptian traditional healing methods.

Perhaps its not so surprising that a kindred Polynesian people like the Maori find resonance in the Hebrew story about leaving Egypt.

The Polynesians were master navigators.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of DNA testing...

I confess that I, "The Lussenheide", am the father of Anna Nicole Smiths baby.

Lussenheide

Anonymous said...

The funny thing about all of these Israelite roots is, that DNA testing seems to be proving that peoples whom the BI crowd would never consider likely suspects are actually descended from the Jews and Israelites! We're talking Africans here, Mexicans, Armenians, inhabitants of various islands, you name it! Fact is, you can almost tell who is not on the DNA train by reading the list of alleged lost tribes in the USBCIP, or visiting Yair Davidy's website!

Gammer

Gavin said...

Yeah, well Bill I'm not surprised, that rumor has been doing the rounds for several days. I mean, WHO ELSE could it reasonably have been???

;-)

The DomPost article which got me going on this actually stresses several times that the various ethnic pretenders all hold on to their "faith" despite abundant DNA evidence to the contrary. But who can blame them when the Craig W's and Steven Collins's of BI's Twighlight Zone - both presumably well educated Anglos - do likewise.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the American Indians

>"According to Rabbi Hakohen, the European discoverers of the New World found that "the Indians of the Americas were able to speak a little of the language of Ishmael." This story, which indicates that some Jewish scholars were interested in biblical explanations of New World discoveries, may have resulted from reports that Columbus's navigators attempted to speak Arabic to the Indians. To some readers it suggested much more: a "Semitic" origin for the American tribes. Christian and Jewish readers associated Arabic with its Middle Eastern origins. For Middle Eastern Jewish scholars Hebrew, Aramaic, and Arabic were languages that all exegetes and legalists had to know. Perhaps the American tribes, with their seemingly familiar language, were, in fact, of the children of Ishmael." <


And so it goes.............

Anonymous said...

Lussenheide:

Anna Nicole must have been in love with you, buddy. She always made me wear condoms. I know I'm not the daddy! I just wish we hadn't gone to the tattoo shop that fateful day when she got that big ugly tattoo on her leg. She thought it'd look sexy as she rode around on the back of my hog. Guess you could say my mark got left in another way.

BB

Anonymous said...

Wow. Lussenheide does fat chicks. As does Byker Bob.

Weirdly, I once dated Ms. Smith's 'personal secretary'. Per this woman, Anna was a little bit too busy to have much of a social life. That was in the just post Playboy years, though. Also per this dear young lady, the position paid a whopping $8.00 per hour and was part time.

The world continues to shrink.

--Mark Lax

Douglas Becker said...

This topic is unsettling because it brings up rather disturbing scenarios.

Perhaps self-aggrandizing native tribes who wish upon themselves the status of being members of the lost tribes of Israel can be forgiven for their lust for validation, even as wrong-headed as it might be and provably false.

The church of gods, however, is another matter: They believe lies, they teach lies, they know they are teaching lies, it can be proven through DNA testing they are teaching lies but they stubbornly refuse to repent and tell the truth. British Israelism is wrong, it is a lie, it is heresy and worst of all, it is the basis of false prophecies which have not come to pass and will never come to pass, making the whole religion of Herbert Armstrong one of a false prophet resoundingly condemned in Scripture.

So which one of the Fantastic Four will be the first to give up the insane fantasy of crazy distorted perceptions?

We all know the answer to that one, because what God thinks and wants from us is so much less important than getting what F4 want: Money, power, prestige and money. Lies be damned, full speed ahead.

This is Pascal's Gamble: Break the Commandments to lie, cover up, cover up the cover up and make the whole thing undiscussible and it will probably turn out OK. Maybe we will have a chance to "do over" in the Second Resurrection in any event. It is truth because we say it is truth, even though we are proved wrong. By the way, a United minister said once, "Prove us wrong and we will change". He lied.

And that is very disturbing.

Anonymous said...

Re: To Marx Lak

Marx wrote: "Lussenheide does Fat Chicks"

Marx, such a bourgeois and peasantly way to express your thinking. Although your statement is true, in this era of political correctness, you must choose your words with better judgement.

May I suggest the following words to replace the very dirct and ugly word... "FAT"

Suggestions: "Pleasingly Plump", "BBW", "Plus Sized", "More To Love" or perhaps "Rubenesque" (btw, is being "rubensque" make one a member of one of the lost 10 tribes??)

Luv,
Lussenheide

Anonymous said...

Playboy Model counts for 2 points.

Half points for 'Rubenesque'.

1 point discount for overly-social: bedding a well known person who is well known to be not hard to bed.

Score for Anna Nicole Smith: Zero

Adjust your averages.

Anonymous said...

We live in socially enlightened times, Mark Lax. At this point in societal evolution, many of us realize that racism, ageism, and weightism are wrong, along with other isms.

A person is a person, and it's what's in their heart that counts. Technological enlightenment sometimes helps us along with our social enlightenment. I have adjustable shock absorbers on the back of my bike so that I won't even accidentally appear to be a "weightist".

BB

Douglas Becker said...

"Weightist"? That is far afield from the topic, so plunging forward...

This fall our particular governmental agencies HR OD&T is presenting a half day seminar on how attractive people get all the breaks. No, I'm serious! Truly!

This past week I asked the Training person what the point of the course was and she told me that it was just "to increase awareness". "What's the point of that," I responded testily? "So that we can learn to treat people equally," she opined.

I have to tell you that in our venue, people who look good really do get the breaks -- and that also is true in all the other venues, such as the church of gods. The terminally mature, Rubenesque, vision assisted, sparely endowed in tress and other attributes have little or no credibility, while the handsome and lovely actually get away with murder because they find favor in the sight of the jurors -- and I've been on the jury here, so I know what I'm talking about.

There is no cure for this. The weightists have credibility which transcends official policy: You can't be too thin, too young or too rich. The poor schmuck who has no status is ignored. Why should we listen?

This comment comes in the wake of the trauma of being witness to a man receiving women's underwear in front of his division for having completed his six month's probation: His probation was given a pink slip -- literally, in front of 40 to 50 people. Naturally, this is against County policy. Or is it? Human Resources remains mum on the subject, even while teaching such bon mots as "Beyond Sexual Harassment". The reaction of most people hearing that a male received a woman's pink slip is generally "Oh, My God -- even I know that's wrong!". Yet the Director of HR advises just to forget the incident and move on, without anyone admitting that there has been a breach in standards.

Meanwhile, the County corrections department has come under scrutiny for having inappropriate material on their PCs right there in the jail: Inappropriate jokes, videos and pictures, all reported on KING 5 television. There were some suspensions, some hurried resignations and a few reprimands.

It's clear that management and Human Resources can't make up its mind.

And so it is with political correctness of any sort. It might be completely inappropriate, but it depends upon who you are. In the church of gods, if it is a minister, then it is OK. If it is a perpetrator, it's probably OK, particularly if you are a mentally ill stalker. If you are a protesting victim, it's not OK. Remain silent.

Here's the format from "Flawed Advice and the Management Trap" by Dr. Chris Argyris, Professor Emeritus of the Harvard School of Business, as he dismantles the hypocrisy of Stephan Covey and his lies from the very first page of the first chapter:

Management must declare:

1. It is in charge!
2. It must be positive!
3. It must win!
4. It must appear concerned for others!

This sets up the process:

1. Lie!
2. Cover up the Lie!
3. Cover up the Cover up!
4. Make it all undiscussable!

This is universally applicable to anyone in authority these days. And who is in authority? Why the person who has the credentials, manufactured or not.

So in the case of Government, management is always faultless, along with Human Resources, unless caught publicly and denounced by the masses.

In the case of these remote tribes, anyone declaring themselves one of the lost tribes of Israel have credibility: All else are suspect if they don't go along.

In the case of the church of gods, since the ministers declare that British Israelism is true, then it is established fact and the lie is utterly undiscussible after a suitable period of covering up the coverups. It must be so, and so, anyone opposing it is not only wrong, but an heretic.

It's time for another presentation of women's underwear to give British Israelism the pink slip.

Anonymous said...

My people have been found to have Jewish dna, too!

        AMERICAN KABUKI said...

Douglas Becker said...

This topic is unsettling because it brings up rather disturbing scenarios.

Perhaps self-aggrandizing native tribes who wish upon themselves the status of being members of the lost tribes of Israel can be forgiven for their lust for validation, even as wrong-headed as it might be and provably false.
------------------------

Perhaps you have your own hidden bias, that the Jews really might be God's only chosen people....and pity the poor fools who aren't?

The truth is that every religion of every culture has described its own culture as God's particular unique chosen people. Joseph Campbell writings makes this abundantly clear. The "other" is always of the devil, the "other" is profane, God is with us dammit and pass the ammunition.

This misappropriation of another culture's identity (perhaps because their scriptures are popular) speaks more to the loss of local identity in the modern world and inability to see God's hand at work in all people, and the importance of each human in God's eyes ..... once we define who's God's people are, everyone else can be ignored.....which is why each new xCG continues to isolate more families and more friends from their membership.

....or as another scripture puts it, "many are weak an sick for they do not discern the body of Christ".....and that is humanity.

Douglas Becker said...

Perhaps you have your own hidden bias, that the Jews really might be God's only chosen people....and pity the poor fools who aren't?

Not at all. Christians are where it's at concerning salvation. It's nice that the Jews preserved the Ten Commandments and all, but they rejected Christ, after all. It's sort of seems they are irrelevant and the supposed "lost" tribes of Israel would be even more irrelevant if they were lost in the first place, which, according to several Scriptures are not -- considering the Widow in the Temple when Jesus was brought and that the Apostle Paul claimed to be of one of the tribes which supposedly disappeared. Even the tribes of Joseph are mentioned as being in the Land of Israel during the time of Ezra and Nehemiah.

So you might say that not only is British Israelism not true, but DNA seems to indicate the aforementioned tribes aren't in the same genetic groups as... Israelites.

The burden of proof now lies on the tribes making the claims -- especially after the DNA testing.

Furthermore, the statement, "
This misappropriation of another culture's identity (perhaps because their scriptures are popular) speaks more to the loss of local identity in the modern world and inability to see God's hand at work in all people, and the importance of each human in God's eyes ..... once we define who's God's people are, everyone else can be ignored.....which is why each new xCG continues to isolate more families and more friends from their membership.
seems like a non sequitur, particularly in context. Sometimes I make nutty postings because nothing about the church of gods can be taken all that seriously and it's good for a laugh. Unfortunately, religious cults of the sort discussed here seem to attract the particularly mentally unstable.

Douglas Becker said...

Dennis,

I call your attention to a bit further down:

Sometimes I make nutty postings because nothing about the church of gods can be taken all that seriously and it's good for a laugh.

You really should have responded.

I am waiting for you with tongue planted firmly in cheek!

The return of my sense of humor bodes no good for anyone, with me being the possible exception, but not necessarily guaranteeing even that.

        AMERICAN KABUKI said...

You know these guys aren't half as weird as these people on the BBC web site.

All Hail John Frum Day!

Douglas Becker said...

Weird? Those Frum worshippers seem totally sane, dude. At least compared to the XCGs. I mean, estimated webstats, "That Prophet" Christ incarnate carrying a six pack, He Man Masters of the Universe with diabetes and "Prove us wrong and we will change" boys?

Hey! At least the Frum worshippers are respectful of the American Flag and at least that's something these days. Too bad they are not registered Republican Dog owners!

jorgheinz said...

May I suggest AW bloggers look up "POLYNESIAN PATHWAYS" on the NET.

It ain't BI but it does raise some interesting points about the part ancestry of the Polynesians.

Happy hunting.

Jorgheinz

jorgheinz said...

This we know. Egyptians reached Australia: they have left their archaeological imprint there.Doesn't mean to say they interbred with the locals,though.

Anubis, the God of the Dead,son of Osiris, is clearly shown on the cave wall along with other insignia and hieroglyphics.The script is dated around 2600 BCE.

"Polynesian Pathways" says that now deceased Maori chiefs in NZ had relic Caucasian DNA from South America which probably originated from Mesopotamia.

        AMERICAN KABUKI said...

And there were crosses in South America before the Conquistadors got there, but it doesn't mean the locals were primitive Catholics.

There's glyph on the rocks above the Colorado river in Arizona, which shows a man in a space suit looking through a telescope at the stars. But it doesn't mean NASA experimented with Native Americans.

Archetypes are common in many cultures. As were were 'sons of God' who were born of virgins, died, and were resurrected.

And in the case of ancient cultures, we can only wonder at how many times civilizations rose, and collapsed in the history of this planet.