- Ten percent of your money is to be sent to the Church in Pasadena. This is ten percent of your gross income. This is mandatory.
- Ten percent of your money is to be saved to go to the Church Festival, wherever we tell you you are to go. This is ten percent of your gross income. This is mandatory.
- Once every third year, a third ten percent of your money is to go to a fund for widows and orphans. However, it is ultimately up to us what we do with the money. Do not question the use of these funds. It is mandatory to give this money.
- You are required to give offerings above and beyond your tithe on Holy Days.
- You are not to ask, question, or otherwise have any concerns over what this money goes to. You are to give it. We do with it what we want.
- If you fail to follow the above directives, you will be either suspended or disfellowshipped from the organization, and we will tell you you will have likely lost your chance at eternal life and will end up in the third resurrection.
- You will survive on what money is left for yourself. If you find yourself in poverty due to giving 30% or greater of your income to us, after the government has already taken 20 to 30%, don’t ask us for help. We are always in a crisis and we need you to give more!
Of course, it all depended on exactly when you were recruited into Herbert's "crusade for sanity." The church's requirements morphed with every wind of change, and there were plenty of gales blowing in the seventies! It was possible (and often desirable) to be in blissful ignorance of the latest shift in teaching for months, especially if it didn't appear on the front page of the Worldwide News. For the not-so-zealous among the flock, the trick was to keep a very low profile.
If you don't end up screaming in rage, you'll get a good laugh.