Tuesday 8 August 2006

A plea to Rod

Dear Dr Meredith

It has come to my attention that there has been a grievous oversight in God's true church, and I know that you will be keen to correct it immediately once you have been made aware of the situation. Bob Thiel has still not been ordained!

As you know, Dr Meredith, Mr Thiel is actually DOCTOR Thiel. In fact he has TWO doctorates, one in Naturopathy. This is surely equivalent to a theological degree, as I recollect all those bylines in the 1960s Plain Truth by your uncle "Dr C. Paul Meredith" - and HE was just a vet!

Bob also has a legitimate PhD from an obscure but accredited university. This is a major accomplishment, especially for someone who demonstrates limited grammatical and proof reading skills. I mean, how many double doctors does God's Philadelphian Work have at its disposal? This man is a treasure!

Plus, Dr Thiel has labored as a church host for years, and gives learned sermonettes on subjects like Marcion. Again, Dr Meredith, I wonder how many of the leading evangelists in God's Work would even know who Marcion was? Yet here is Bob providing this high quality edification for the lucky brethren in southern San Luis Obispo County.

But wait, Dr Meredith, there is more! Dr Thiel has his own website which provided vital information to the world in the wake of the Wisconsin shootings. For example, Dr Thiel correctly pointed out that it was inappropriate for outsiders to put up crosses as a sign of respect for those slain because crosses are pagan. This brave, principled stand was widely commented on!

And now Bob Thiel has expanded his wonderful website to include historical information on the Church of God in New Testament times and the first centuries. Already the fine scholarship he demonstrates has left Papists like Jared Olar (who is also counted among the anti-COG demonaics at XCG) speechless (other than making relevant critiques and citing facts in rebuttal.) Just take a look at the superb article Bob provides on Polycarp: again - who else even knows who Polycarp was (apart from Jared Olar - and being a Catholic he clearly doesn't count!)

Dr Meredith, please bear with me just a little longer while I mention Dr Thiel's excellent articles which have appeared not only in the church members' magazine, but even in The Journal, where they witness against the Laodicean subscribers who would otherwise have only been exposed to Brian Knowles, Dave Havir and other highly questionable sources.

So it was with shock, SHOCK, that I read Bob's recent disclaimer on his website: "I have not been ordained as a deacon or an elder."

I would personally like to recommend Dr Thiel for ordination as he is so clearly qualified - overqualified even - to be a minister in your great End Time Work to restore Apostolic Christianity. His gift for tact and respect when commenting on other Churches of God especially qualifies him to develop fraternal ties with those separated brethren in the United Church of God. I know that you will act expeditiously to bring him into the highest levels of ministry in the LCG.

With deep sincerity


Anonymous said...

With Bob Thiel, you know where he stands and he answers serious questions.

But it seems to me that Gavin ducks tough questions, like when I asked, under the "Who wrote 2 Peter?" posting, what do you base your beliefs on if you do not believe that the New Testament is infallible. If not the Bible then what? Tradition? Church authority?

Do you even know why you believe what you believe?

Anonymous said...

Dr. Meredith,

God’s Number One Representative On Planet Earth surely must correct this oversight and ordain Dr. Thiel as an Evangelist of God’s True Church, posthaste.

Unless of course, in a candor, God’s Number One Representative believes Bob hasn’t really repented!

There is room for more than one learned and edifying scholar in the Living Church of God, other than just yourself, Dr. Meredith. Realize a double doctorate accredited university He-Man like Dr. Thiel beats the pants off the purveyors of phony baloney hooey compendiums of ancient history any day.

Just take a look at the writing output of this human dynamo. Unlike the leadership of some other COG denominations, Dr. Thiel is a real LCG leader, cutting-edge thinker who doesn’t require underlings to write impressive sounding articles to affix his name to on the church website or monthly articles. He is willing to dive deep into the murky academic deep waters with Marcion and Polycarp, while other wannabe denominational leaders venture only into the shallow academic waters of bible platitudes fit only for Sunday school lessons.

Isn’t it time now to ordain Dr. Thiel as a Living Church Evangelist, while you still have time left?

Anonymous said...

Doc runs a runs a house church, has a library of apologetic articles in favor of Rod's cult as well as his daily comments supporting LCG. All gratis. Why should Rod put him on the payroll when he can pocket the cash? It's all about the money after all.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for that, Gavin. Absolutely hilarious. I love your skillful use of the lingo too -- "papist" and "separated brethren." Sheer delight.

Anonymous said...

I laughed till the tears came! Then I forwarded this on to a couple of fellow LCG'ers. Gavin, you are too much.

Btw, Bob's a smart guy, but apparently doesn't know how to surf to your Otagosh site in order to find your email address. I hope you don't mind us asking -- and you may edit this question out if you wish -- but what was the "subject" you mentioned that he's so upset about? Just curious, as there doesn't seem to be anything in your essay that wasn't already publicly available knowledge, yet he seems upset.

Anonymous said...

"I hope you don't mind us asking -- and you may edit this question out if you wish -- but what was the 'subject' you mentioned that he's so upset about?"

The bit about "limited grammatical and proof reading skills" perhaps?

Anonymous said...

How dare you be so blasphemous against the scholar God is using to show the truth to His Church!

God is even using current events to draw attention to the esteemed Dr. Thiel. If you peruse the recently leaked AOL data (available at ) you will find four entries where seekers were directed to Dr. Thiel's site:

15135492 www 2006-04-02 11:17:47
11775124 pharisees of the bible 2006-03-17 10:16:06
3457503 peter and the keys 2006-03-20 10:32:29
3457503 in a word st. john's gospel and his first epistle st. paul's epistles especially roman's galatians and ephesians 2006-03-08 22:04:34

That is more traffic than the AOL database shows being directed to the LCG and TOMORROWSWORLD sites. LCG.ORG had no hits in the AOL database, and TOMORROWSWORLD.ORG had only two! Dr. Thiel's site had more hits than those two sites combined!

The leaked AOL data thus shows that the site is the most powerful and popular LCG site on the planet -- indeed, in the known universe! God is indeed using Dr. Bob mightily to spread His Word!

Gavin said...

To be honest, I'm not sure exactly what detail Bob feels I broke a promise on. Back in the days of the AW website we exchanged quite a few emails, usually at Bob's instigation when he wanted information on something. I remember him asking that I not mention his typos, but that was probably two years ago and I haven't kept the correspondence. I can't recollect a promise to refrain forever. This blog is, after all a new venture with a much smaller audience.

I did re-read through the entry before uploading, and deleted anything I thought wasn't in the spirit of a reasonably good-natured bit of satire (or as Bob calls it, a "spoof".) Maybe it cut a bit close to the nerve...

And yeah, it does surprise me that Bob can't find the email address at the otagosh link ;-)

Anonymous said...

"And yeah, it does surprise me that Bob can't find the email address at the otagosh link ;-)"

Or figure out how to post a comment here.

But then he's also never figured out how to post any comments at XCG. (He said it's because he has no relationship with the XCG weblog because XCG criticises his false statements publicly instead of only doing so secretly via email.)

Anonymous said...

You have truly outdone yourself with this one. I still have tears (of laughter) running down my cheeks as i write this comment.
As i found out years ago, it does not take much to rattle the great Doctor bob. I had a minister ask me to write to Dr. Bob about a subject and ole doc wrote back a real nastygram about how he had already covered that subject on his web page and how us true ignert folk just need to get a life, and quit trying to disprove him. He only cooled down when i informed him my local minister in lcg had asked me to go to Doc bob in the first place. I cannot for the life of me , if because of his shabby scholarship and writing skills, meant "ignert" or "ignorant"
The truth be known he is just as qualified in being ordained and a church historian as any of the incompetents before.
After all when ever did facts get in the way or agenda?

rod 2

Anonymous said...

Dr. Bob has several things in common with Dr. Rod: both have doctorates (more or less), both are equal in humility, and both are about the same height.

As for putting him on the payroll, I'm sure Dr. Bob would be happy to work for free -- after all, he's been doing it for years for no pay, so what's the diff?

You don't suppose... No, don't tell me -- does Dr. Rod feel THREATENED by Dr. Bob?

John B

Anonymous said...

This spoof is long overdue, and was hilarious. I got quite an insight into the good Dr.'s mental workings by watching the way in which he responded to Jared Olar's brilliant debunking of the bogus COG history which supposedly traces the WCG's ancestral organizations back to apostolic times. Jared had actually done some real research, and provided his source materials as support. Dr. Bob wasn't fazed in the least. He still chooses to believe the bogus history, in the face of proof to the contrary.

BTW, I printed out the materials from this debate, (which took place on XCG), and the printout now occupies a place of prominence in my special notebook.

Here's a new mathmatical equation:

Thiel is to Meredith as Billy Carter was to Jimmy Carter. LCG would fare better without the "help" of COGwriter.

Byker Bob

jorgheinz said...

I get the thieling that Dr Bob deserves to be ordained,sanctified,and anointed into the hierarchy of LCG.

After all, a man with a Website must have something useful to say at their weekly meetings.

Anonymous said...

Now not wanting to go off subject, I must respond to this with a question.

Is the author of the following link our dear and beloved Bobby Thiel? This "nut case" is also a apologist as is Mr. (or should I say) Dr. Thiel.

Different cult however....the PCG!

jorgheinz said...


We trust your plea is never late For Rod anointing his soul-mate:
Time will Marcion if left undone
He surely needs a spiritual son.
Does Bob have feet a fitting size
So Rod anoints to say "arise".
That PhD shows that he is sharp
About such things as Polycarp.
Though Alma Mater is obscure
Philosophy is forever sure.
And if deplete on things grammatic
His stand we say is quite emphatic.
And is his reading lacks a bit
His sermons make a mighty hit.
So come on Rod and dab the oil
And help Bob Thiel in his toil.

Anonymous said...

Kscribe, about that "Little Sanctuary" website: Eek! The guy is obviously in dire need of psychotropic drugs or something. But at least he's opposed to Gerald Flurry, another guy who probably needs psychotropic drugs.

Sad thing is, I think most of us knew people like "Little Sanctuary" when we were in the WCG. I knew one young man who used to write the exact same kind of incoherent, arcane pseudobiblical babbling.

Anonymous said...

We all hope that Rod will duly ordain and anoint Dr Bob.It will be good therapy for Dr Bob.

But do we realise that Rod is specifically mentioned in the Good Book, which will even further solidify his position as the chief Apostle.

Psalm 2:9..." the ROD of iron"

Prov 22:15..." the ROD of correction"

Ezek 7:10.." the ROD hath blossomed"

Micah 6:9..."hear ye the ROD".

Behold,with Dr Bob anointed all will be complete.

jorgheinz said...


As a great admirer of Rod, I must say that he has been a bit tardy in laying hands on a fallow bruvver.

As the Bible says, it is only men of violence who will get into the Kingdom.All the more reason why he lays hands on Dr Robert Thiel.

Douglas Becker said...

Perhaps in order to qualify, our precious Dr. Robert Thiel must perform some miracle, just as Catholic Saints must do to be officially declared as saints. Or perhaps, he must give some important new prophecy of note, just as our illustrious Dr. Roderick Meredith has done.

Certainly, loyalty should be rewarded: Dr. Thiel is neither paid nor has he ever stricken back when he was resoundingly thwacked by his master.

Maybe he has to wait 25 years, just as is the case with Catholic Saints, lest something come to the fore to cast doubt upon his imminent qualifications.

Or maybe, as in the case of Catholic Saints, he must be dead first.

Anonymous said...

**"Perhaps in order to qualify, our precious Dr. Robert Thiel must perform some miracle,...."**

He just hasn't kissed the right ass(in every sense of the word when applied to humans) in just the right way. That's what gets you ahead in the cults of Armstrong.

Anonymous said...

I came upon your site accidently. You've got to be kidding me..... You don't have to be a psychologist to see that your writers need some serious counseling. What scriptures could you possibly twist to justify your attitude and comments? Do you seriously believe you represent Jesus Christ with this sort of stupidity?

People who are secure in who they are do, I repeat do not, have to make others look bad to make themselves feel good about themselves no matter who they are or what church they belong to. Really, WHAT IS IT TO YOU ANYWAY??? And who are YOU to think that your opinion matters anyway? You know, it really doesn't. Grow up and get a life.

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to the fear of God? I agree with the previous post in that God is really the judge. Check out Rom. 14:4 !

I hope that we can agree that men are men and that they are all certainly less than perfect. No offence intended. Blessed are the peacemakers. :>) I will not probably come on this site again so there is no response necessary.
We can all do better in our efforts to be better.